Ed has started shooting his first film in over a decade and I'm totally made up for him.

However it feels weird that I'm only tangentially involved. Not through any fault of Ed's though. He asked if I'd like to help out with the payroll but when we looked at it my skills don't match what's needed. His accountant will probably perform that function for virtually nothing.

So why does it feel like I've missed out on an opportunity?

Let's nip back into the past, to around 2003. I had a six week job as a trainee producer on a series of short movies in Cardiff. And I sucked at the job.

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I'm sure I sucked so hard that they use the verb "to Taylor something" when it's been fucked up beyond all belief.

I had good intentions all right, and I like to think my ability to get on with most people is valuable in most industries, but my list of failings could fill an entire page. But the brief highlights include;

A lack of confidence
A lack of contacts
A lack of industry knowledge
Inability to speak Welsh
A driving license that at the time didn't allow me to drive hire-cars.
Living with friends an hours commute from Cardiff when I should have been on site 24-7

Although I got on with the Directors and writers I realised that I was not built for that media world. I like working as part of a massive company/enterprise where I can just get on with data managment or numbers or payroll without putting myself out to be shot down in flames everyday. I just want to be left alone to get on with tasks.

Since I escaped South Wales I've enjoyed every job I've worked at as they've all had that sat-at-a-desk quality that I find so endearing.

What I'm trying to say is that I am where I am happiest and although the allure of the film set is strong I know I can best help one of my best friends by not getting in his way. He has worked stupidly hard on this and has spent the best part of the last two years focusing solely on this project whilst I've just dicked-around flitting from one interest to another without getting deeply bogged down in any of them. He deserves this success because he's put the hours in and I haven't.

A set visit would be cool and a chance for a cheeky cameo is always fun (If I can still act) but my "Glorious Career in Media" turned out to be none of those things.

I wish Ed every success with his because he deserves every bit of it.