Fragment of something

The houses lay clustered around the bay like a concert audience, faces turned in rapturous wonder to the aquatic maestro.  Once there had only been a handful of grey stone fisherman's cottages built to hunker against the cold coastal winters. As the industry floundered along the odd weekend retreat appeared in brighter colour than the drab functional oblongs. The land continued to be encroached until the fisherman's dwellings became swallowed up by luxury apartments and their livelihood was finally consumed with it.

Ed has started shooting his first film in over a decade and I'm totally made up for him.

However it feels weird that I'm only tangentially involved. Not through any fault of Ed's though. He asked if I'd like to help out with the payroll but when we looked at it my skills don't match what's needed. His accountant will probably perform that function for virtually nothing.

So why does it feel like I've missed out on an opportunity?

Let's nip back into the past, to around 2003. I had a six week job as a trainee producer on a series of short movies in Cardiff. And I sucked at the job.

S

-

U

-

C

-

K

-

E

-

D

I'm sure I sucked so hard that they use the verb "to Taylor something" when it's been fucked up beyond all belief.

I had good intentions all right, and I like to think my ability to get on with most people is valuable in most industries, but my list of failings could fill an entire page. But the brief highlights include;

A lack of confidence
A lack of contacts
A lack of industry knowledge
Inability to speak Welsh
A driving license that at the time didn't allow me to drive hire-cars.
Living with friends an hours commute from Cardiff when I should have been on site 24-7

Although I got on with the Directors and writers I realised that I was not built for that media world. I like working as part of a massive company/enterprise where I can just get on with data managment or numbers or payroll without putting myself out to be shot down in flames everyday. I just want to be left alone to get on with tasks.

Since I escaped South Wales I've enjoyed every job I've worked at as they've all had that sat-at-a-desk quality that I find so endearing.

What I'm trying to say is that I am where I am happiest and although the allure of the film set is strong I know I can best help one of my best friends by not getting in his way. He has worked stupidly hard on this and has spent the best part of the last two years focusing solely on this project whilst I've just dicked-around flitting from one interest to another without getting deeply bogged down in any of them. He deserves this success because he's put the hours in and I haven't.

A set visit would be cool and a chance for a cheeky cameo is always fun (If I can still act) but my "Glorious Career in Media" turned out to be none of those things.

I wish Ed every success with his because he deserves every bit of it.

Harlequin Bernard Cornwell

Bernard Cornwell is probably best known for Sharpe the adventures of the titular hero fighting for the British in the Napoleonic wars. In Harlequin he goes back to the start of the 100 years’ war where England had a claim on lands in Britany and fought bitterly with the French crown for their control.

Thomas of Hookton is a young man in an inconsequential village on the south coast of England whose world is turned upside down when the entire town is wiped out by a mysterious French Lord looking for a saintly relic. He swears revenge and joins the armies of Edward III who set off for France to claim back the lands Edward believes are his by birth right.

The Hellequin were the war bands of English soldiers who ravaged the French lands, named after a mythical demonic group who were said to roam causing havoc and mayhem wherever they went. This is medieval warfare as it actually would have been, dirty, brutal and vicious. There’s very little room for the mythologizing of courtly knights and deeds of virtue. The only reason to leave an opponent alive would not be chivalric but purely if you could ransom him to his family.

I have to declare an interest here as I am a keen archer, in fact my wife actually shoots a longbow very similar to those described in the novel. Times may have changed but there are still people flinging bits of wood at targets and the description not only of the shooting but the use of mass ranks of archers in battle are excellent. Well worth a read especially if you enjoy his other books or history in general. 

Raising Steam – Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett has continued his prolific output in spite of being diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s disease in 2007 and this is the Fortieth book in the Discworld series.

Steam power and most importantly Steam trains have come to the Discworld and Ankh Morpork in particular. Moist Von Lipwig (of previous novels Going postal and Making money) is tasked by the cities benevolent despot Lord Vetenari to ensure the Ankh Morpork Hygienic Railway drags the population into the century of the fruitbat. But deep in hidden caves and bolt holes there are events being set in motion by conspirators that look to sabotage progress and upset the entire political landscape.

After being bitterly disappointed in the long earth and the Long war that he co-wrote with Stephen Baxter I’m glad to report this is Pratchett at his riffing, pun-loving best. If I had to make a criticism it would be that towards the end of the book the characters get a bit lost within the grand scope of the plot itself and that I think a smaller cast of characters would have given more face time to the main proponents of the novel. There is the sense almost of shoehorning in as many of the recognisable characters that the fans will want to see, as possible. Also Pratchett writes heroes and anti-heroes really well but seems to struggle when it comes to three dimensional villains. But these are just quibbles, there’s a three page chapter that is just a build up to a magnificent Punch and Judy joke and if that sounds like your kind of thing you won’t be disappointed.