David Cameron and his sweary sweary mouth

One news story that may have slipped your attention with all the important news that the BBC are covering today including a cat that rides the bus, (no really, seriously thanks for that BBC;) is David Cameron Saying the word "Twat" live on a radio interview.

Now the standard response to any swearing on media in the UK is a blanket ban followed by hastily cobbled together apology and then a disappearance to let the public forget about you before reemerging stronger and better than ever.

Cameron apologised in a terrific manner. "If I've caused any offence I obviously regret that," Muttering almost inaudibly afterwards "I regret all right, I regret you ever being born you moaning, emotionally stunted excuses for human beings."

Although I've no idea why people are so surprised, Mr Cameron was a member of the Bullingdon club at Oxford University which is about as close as U.K.'ll get to a fraternity at Oxford. Their focus is on having fantastically elaborate meals, getting trollyed, causing huge amounts of damage and then paying for it straight away, in cash. They'll also de-bag anyone that objects to their boorish behaviour, waiters, innocent bystanders, whoever.

Their most famous formal dinner ended with them smashing almost all the glass of the lights and four hundred and sixty eight windows in Peckwater Quad of Christ Church. As you can tell, anyone that would fit in this kind of company probably has an extensive vocabulary of swear words. 'Twat' is one of the least offensive words he could use.

He's trying to pull the old con, playing the underdog, honest man against the system routine. Swearing casually makes him seem like he's just one of the guys trying to do his best against a crazy world gone wrong.

It's the classic Bush Junior trick. He coasted into the Texas Governorship and into the most powerful job in the world pretending he was the underdog, the simple farmer, one of us. Like he didn't go to the best schools and Yale, like Daddy's money didn't buy him everything he wanted and out of the national guard and out of the cells from being drunk and disorderly at a football game.

So Cameron becomes a little more human and we slip ever closer to another Conservative government.

American Central

My old mate Warren's just made his first post from the heart of America on Notfussed .

The American election intrigues me in ways it probably shouldn't.

Anyway take a look.

Neighbours, Weddings and why Anne Coulter is not a nice person.

The wedding mentioned last post was lovely, really informal, no speeches, few tear (of joy) lots of beer and a pig on a spit. Woot!

We have new neighbours next door, this happens quite regularly as it's a rental property that is just about up the code. If its the rental code from the 1690s. The heating just doesn't work the toilet backs up reguarly and theres an interesting fungus growing the bedroom wall that only answers to 'Kevin'.

As you can imagine the turnover is quite high and with Friday night being seriously cold the neighbours, who appear to be perfectly nice, had to go and stay somewhere else. However they left their dog in the house. So the pooch wakes up at 6:30 wonders where everyone is and where his breakfast is coming from. So he starts barking, and barking and barking and barking. Unfourtunatly this sets off the kennels in the house three doors down, so suddenly, lest i remind you at 6:30 IN THE MORNING, we have the canine equalivent of the St Martins in the Field choir blasting out all around us.

Em, bless her, can sleep through nearly anything. I however had to get up and I think it stuck me in a grump for the rest of the day. thats the only way I can explain pushing some of the weaker pedestrians into traffic as I stomped around the high street.






Anne Coulter, who I have mentioned before as a ferociously intelligent dangerous right wing bigot who's had her homepage hacked. The reason why this is funny is most right wing names are, to be fair, limited in their intellegence. Shaun Hannity, Bill o'Reilly these are not people who debate or explore topics. They are the finger pointers, the agitators, the empty vessels making the most noise.

Idiots in other words.

But Anne Coulter is not an idiot, she is incredibly intelligent and this she fascinates the other side. "With a brain like hers she should be with us!" Which is why an open letter explaining your entire career was a joke has a strangely plausible ring to it. Sadly it is a fake, she's still the same brittle, attractive, damaged woman she ever was. More's the pity. She des strike me as someone who's hollow inside.

In the interests of balance her real website is here but, honestly, if you're used to thinking for yourself and your political views sit anywhere to the left of, say, Goebbels I'd give it a miss.

Enjoyed the last game of the world cup. I did think the fairy tale for England would come true but a stronger south african side held out in a tense nervy game. And actually with all the hyperbole surounding the Springboks I can only imagine the reams of shit that would have been spewing from the commentators mouths if England had won it. Anyway, England have nothing to be ashamed of, they showed that experience can be more effective than youth. It does however help if you have youth in the shape of Tait and Flood to come on as fresh legs. Those boys really impressed.

The Welsh were simply abysmal. But could talk for weeks about that, and will do but not on this forum.

Oh and if you've never seen rathergood.com this is a good introduction. Its just flash animation and musical stupidity but a great way to pass the time. Main site here.

Peace out homeboys.

Words

 

"Pete Dougherty has just been arrested on suspicion of holding class A drugs."

 

Children? I think we can let the word 'Suspicion' go now.

 

There's no suspicion. He is a drug addict. If he wasn't holding any he was on his way to score.

 

He's a millionaire that can afford the finest drugs that mankind has to offer.

 

 

Git.

 

The worlds third best spectator sport

I am of course referring to American Politics which is the third most compelling sport in the world.

Numbers one and two are Rugby and Sumo which of course are just different flavours of big bastards running at each other with murder in their eyes. And no padding.

The media seems to focus more on the candidates quirks than their actual policies because to be brutally honest the physical characteristics and differences between the candidates is the only thing that's interesting about them.

People complain that politicians are lying scumbags who'd pimp out their own grandmother to get that extra vote.

"Why can't they ever tell the truth?!" people moan.

Well interestingly enough the reason they can't ever speak the truth is that we won't let them.

Any person that has got to be a candidate for either of the major parties is a career politician. They have made their fortune or used Daddies, to get where they are today and they've done that by being obsequious and veiling everything they say in the cloak of denyability.

When we as the public hold people to such close account and such close scrutiny they simply can't afford to be seen to be wrong. No Pol can ever say 'Yep. Okay. I goofed up, there were no weapons in Iraq. Sorry about that. My bad.' because the public outcry would be enormous. 'What else have they got wrong?' the press would scream and it would be goodbye bye Mr Politician.

Instead they make statements that can't possibly be argued with and can't be quantified.

They could say, "We need to clamp down on some dissenting voices so we're going to start monitoring all your communications that go outside of our borders."

But instead we force them to say "I want to increase the security of our country."

How can you argue against security? "I disagree with my honourable friend, I think this country is just too secure. I want more danger for all our citizens. I will plough your tax dollars into increasing the variety and spread of the threats ranged against us."


So now with the race for the democratic candidacy under way we're back to listening to a bunch of people all trying to convince us as the voters they they are the right man/woman/crustacean for the job.

In these 'debates' every word is spun sanitized and polished up to a gleaming shine before its launched forth so the only part that holds the interest once our bulls%%t filter falls into place is their actual appearance.

And thank God, it used to be a choice between boring white guy number one and boring white guy number two. Now its a choice between racy ex-First lady with balls of iron and boring white guy disguised as interesting black guy number 2.



But we want a boring guy, don't we? We want someone who won't fly off the handle when the Russian bear wakes up and starts growling. We want someone who can go to those endless meetings on sanitation and discuss policy changes and all that dull dull dull crap SO WE DON"T HAVE TO.

One little kiddie on cake cried all the water out of his body.

Just got time to make a small observation.

 

Bernard Manning's died today.

 

 

 

 

 

Hooray!

 

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,,525498,00.html

Woo Hoo she's back in jail!

Sense has finally prevailed!

Unless they wanted riots by the rest of the population that weren't white rich daughters of billionaires she had to go back.

Great.




Anyone else think its a little weird that some girl I'll never meet having to go to jail for forty days makes me happy? Its not just me then? Good.

Stephen fry and discrimination

In wasn't going to post again today but I'm afraid events today have forced my hand.

 

The discussion as it ever does at work turned to television and one of the older ladies I work with exclaimed her joy at 'Kingdom' which is a Steven Fry mild comedy on ITV with just enough of a dose of 'The Weird' to keep it interesting. Fry's a lawyer that helps people out with odd legal problems each episode like the littlest hobo in a Saville Row suit.

 

However after praising the series to the heavens she then unleashed a barrage against Steven Fry and his 'choice' of lifestyle.

 

The stream of vindictive hate from the mouth of someone usually so calm forgiving and placid was so foul it made me think he had personally offended her. It turns out she's simply a screaming homophobe.

 

Now is it right that people just smile and leave her to her little ways because she's just too old to know any better? Is it right I smouldered in quiet fury but ultimately said and did nothing?

 

No.

 

She should be confronted and told that her prejudices are unwarranted and unwelcome. It was the first time I realised that I do still live in a quiet backwater where 'The Gays' are treated as an alien invasion force corrupting our youth in their bizarre rituals rather than just normal humans.

If power corrupts...

So first we get talking CCTV cameras, then we get lie detectors for Benefit scroungers. All this after text messages to immigrants to let them know their visas were about to expire.

Is it just me, or has Tony Blair's government just gone batshit loco?

They jump on the nearest sound bite however knackered and tired it is, and ride that burro till it dies on it's ass. But don't worry, they'll be another half-baked, crackpot idea along in a minute.

This isn't policy making. This is pandering to plebeian tastes and interests. Creating a feeling that 'Things are being done' whilst actually achieving bugger all.

I am not someone who naturally feels our rights are being eroded. I understand the need for speed cameras and warning labels but this is just stupid.

If someone is scamming the benefits system then there have to be more effective ways to catch them but think of the reverse situation.

You rely on benefits to actually survive the scummy life that fate's dealt you.

You've never even returned a library book late and every other week you're forced to go through Herr Voltniemers probes and prods asking you awkward questions about your mother and if you did five hours casual labour last week just to get the money you need to live.

How about peine forte et dure to get people to admit their guilt? It would save millions in wasted legal fees. How about the Judas chair for those caught feeding their kids saturated fats?

What about the Iron Maiden for anyone convicted of three or more Asbos? That would sort the fuckers out.



To quote Bill Hicks I'd think about emigrating but that would mean I'd be subject to our foreign policy.

West End = Dead End

There's something irrepressibly depressing about a seaside town out of season.

My route this morning took me around the west end of Rhyl or the Chav ghetto as we like to call it. Its a depressing melange of derelict semi derelict and crumbled housing. Failed and burnt out store fronts litter the strip like shells on the shore.

However we have new news for the west end. The fun fair, which is neither fun nor fair, is being knocked down to make brand new housing and a huge ASDA.

This reinvestment is noticeable, half the broken houses have been raised to the ground and new builds are going on all along the front.

I would be optimistic for the seafront but I've lived in North Wales too long. This is what will happen.

2008 - New Executive Housing and ASDA stores are opened. Mayor announces "New wave of Investment in Rhyl beckoning in a Golden age".

2009 - ASDA currently employees more store detectives than actual staff due to high levels of theft and the year old executive apartments have to be rented out to the DSS when its discovered no executive would go within five miles of the west end of Rhyl.

2010 - ASDA forced to close when they come to work one morning to find the store completely stripped of parts and up on bricks. Each executive house now comes with its own sharps bin for all the hypodermics.

2015 - The new Whig government declares the area a disaster zone and virus bombs the whole of Rhyl from orbit wiping out half of its population. Nobody notices.

Franken Vs Coulter - Two men enter one man leaves.

I was up late enough and bored enough to watch a BBC4 program about comedian and broadcaster Al Franken who was one of the founders of liberal radio in the US. Now this scratched many of my particular itches. Anyone thats worked in American media will tell you this misnomer about liberal bias in the media is utter bollocks. Truly, truly horse shit. When I was at CNN there was a fanatical dedication to telling the truth no matter what. Trying to tell the news without bias is not only a broadcasters job it's his vocation. He should dedicate his entire life to trying to achieve that goal even though it is in itself unachievable.

As the late great Dr Hunter S Thompson once said "The only two things that are totally without bias in the newspaper are the stock reports and the sports results.' By the mere act of observing something we have influenced it, but if we are aware of this dichotomy we can try and balance it out.

However the Left in America don't seem to be concentrating on policy or reform, just baiting and being bated by the right seems to be enough for them.

Ann Coulter has probably made herself the most interesting commentator on American politics right now. Go and take a look. Really, I'll wait. Be warned you have to remember she says most of the stuff she does purely to bait liberals and before you think about flaming her and giving her a piece of your mind remember shes a very VERY smart person and also a top flight lawyer. Yeah. thats right. Put down the keyboard. Its not worth it.

Now these two have met on several occasions and each just choose to score points off each other rather than trying to listen to the position the other has taken. Its weird that these two very different individuals, clearly both intelligent and humorous in their own way, can find no common ground to agree upon. The 'debates' degenerate into farce as they're both so partisan they refuse to even acknowledge the others humanity (must resist gag about Coulter.)

Anyway I'm losing my point here so here goes. Remember, just because they're on the Right don't mean they're automatically wrong. And just because you don't agree with them doesn't mean you shouldn't respect their point of view.

American Politics, a better spectator sport than baseball

Oh and as it was pointed out to me late night in a New York bar; Yes I don't get to vote in America but I DO get a say in your politics as Britain seems to have become Americas Stooge fellating George whenever he needs a quick pick me up. So as soon as Britain stops being Americas mini-me and being dragged into badly thought out wars and policies we want no part of, THEN I'll stop commentating on your politics. Until then goodbye from the fifty-first state.