David Cameron and his sweary sweary mouth

One news story that may have slipped your attention with all the important news that the BBC are covering today including a cat that rides the bus, (no really, seriously thanks for that BBC;) is David Cameron Saying the word "Twat" live on a radio interview.

Now the standard response to any swearing on media in the UK is a blanket ban followed by hastily cobbled together apology and then a disappearance to let the public forget about you before reemerging stronger and better than ever.

Cameron apologised in a terrific manner. "If I've caused any offence I obviously regret that," Muttering almost inaudibly afterwards "I regret all right, I regret you ever being born you moaning, emotionally stunted excuses for human beings."

Although I've no idea why people are so surprised, Mr Cameron was a member of the Bullingdon club at Oxford University which is about as close as U.K.'ll get to a fraternity at Oxford. Their focus is on having fantastically elaborate meals, getting trollyed, causing huge amounts of damage and then paying for it straight away, in cash. They'll also de-bag anyone that objects to their boorish behaviour, waiters, innocent bystanders, whoever.

Their most famous formal dinner ended with them smashing almost all the glass of the lights and four hundred and sixty eight windows in Peckwater Quad of Christ Church. As you can tell, anyone that would fit in this kind of company probably has an extensive vocabulary of swear words. 'Twat' is one of the least offensive words he could use.

He's trying to pull the old con, playing the underdog, honest man against the system routine. Swearing casually makes him seem like he's just one of the guys trying to do his best against a crazy world gone wrong.

It's the classic Bush Junior trick. He coasted into the Texas Governorship and into the most powerful job in the world pretending he was the underdog, the simple farmer, one of us. Like he didn't go to the best schools and Yale, like Daddy's money didn't buy him everything he wanted and out of the national guard and out of the cells from being drunk and disorderly at a football game.

So Cameron becomes a little more human and we slip ever closer to another Conservative government.

The worst meal I ever had.

In Fort Worth, Texas is a somewhere I can only describe as Hells Cantina. It described itself as a fine dining resturant. I had issues with all three of those words. Resturant brings to mind a fine italian or a little french bistro, a place run for the love of food, where the ingredients are painstakingly selected and cooked with the greatest of care. Fine dining indicates that this is the creme del la creme, the place where the other resturanturs in the area would gather and consume with awe, the dishes of a true culinary genius.

This was not such a place.

It was arranged much like a school cafeteria, replete with the over bearing tang of industrial strength disenfectant. The meals where served with all the care of a binman shedding a load of over-ripe nappies.

The gaucamole was a shade of green not seen since the great snot flu epedemic of 1956 and the nachos managed the almost unbeliveable feat of being both soft and rubbery at the same time.

The main course was a choice of Lumpy something in either brown or white sauce. When pressed upon the direct heritiage of the mystery item lurking in the depths of the trays, the Server sighed deeply and went to consult some higher being on the Fine Food dining ladder. He returned with the razor sharp insight;

'Marsha says it's meat."

Passing on the meat of mystery I moved straight onto the desert which turned out to be a pie constructed of a savoury crust and a sweet filling so nausaatingly sickly that your only choice was to wash each mouthful down with mug after mug of strong black coffee.

It was one of the worst meals of my life, the only thing that made it bearable was that my companion, who had after all, chosen the place, was equally appalled by the food. We laughed our way through the three courses left a mathmatically calculated tip down to the last cent (They hate it when you do that) and emerged blinking into the strong afternoon sun.

In fact if I hadn't kept a business card I put the whole thing down to some random halucination brought on by the Louisanna hotsauce I'd consumed the other night. If you ever find yourself in Fort Worth, Texas needing to wage biological warfare on some poor unsuspecting sod, take them to Furrs Fine Dining. It'll be a meal you'll never forget.

Denbigh Castle Walls

Birthdays, computers and other fluff

Hiya!

No, don't get so shocked you have to hide behind the sofa, it isme and I'm posting WORDS.

This is due in part to my purchasing of a dinky little laptop (I think the kids now days call them notebooks) which makes it much easier for me to sit on the couch with my morning Coffee and do this. Before, if I wanted to sit on the comfy couch and type I would have had to have moved the good ole iMac or evolved arms that were about 20 feet long (And would probably have been incapable of drinking the coffee.)

SO, housekeeping, I'm very well although the first reported cases of Swine Flu have hit our respective offices and social networks. I hope that those that don't have it don't get it and those that have it recover soon. Is anyone else wondering if this is part of the UK's Twelve plagues?

And so it was written that the angel of the lord did visit the corrupt and wanton land of Great Britain and after visiting the plagues of Mad cow disease, MPs expenses, Economic Ressession, and the TV show Katie and Peter stateside (some confusion over the word Jordan) he Quoted thusly "Screw it, lets go old school." and gave them all the spluttering porcine flu.

Works is going well, got a contract until the end of march which is good to have a bit of security. The new boss starts next week or the week after, I haven't met him yet but I'm sure hes suitably boss-like. I hope he realises that we've got a system that works at the moment and it may need tinkering with but it doesn't need tearing down and starting all over again.

Ems starting a new job in Denbigh which she's really excited about, I used to work in the office in Denbigh from 2001-2003 so I know the area quite well.

I know we go on about history in Wales but I've just realised that both em and I now can see Castles from our places of work! how weird would that be if we worked in Milton Keynes?

Okay, I think Wez is a stones throw from the Houses of Parilment althought they have banned stones within a one mile radius I think.

My birthday was a web of awesome and sweet sweet lies. Em took me out to Bodrhyddan Hall where I had some delicious yet poncy food. It was great but the ponce to decent portion size ratio was a little too far in favour of the ponce.

Then Em said 'let go home and go for a pint or two in our local.'

'Ideal' says I. Em then drives straight past the turning for Rhyl.

'You missed the turning' I said, trying to avoid the wheedling note in my voice.

'Did I?' She says with a voice that can mean one thing only, we're not going back to rhyl tonight!

Turns out she has reservation at this very plush hotel near flint. Loveley so it was.


Right, off for a good long walk today to blow away the cobwebs of a night in with the boys.


(Oh and the picture? Let me tell you about that some other time. )

Hotel morning

dinner at chez Andy