Why did no-one tell me that this Monday was international freak day. My regular supermarket is fairly bland, inoffensive and purposly designed as such. When you're picking up nappies and bleach you don't want inovation or novel experienec you just want to get your pruchases and get the hell out of dodge.
Well not tonight buster cause tonight they're the consumers and you're the 20% extra offer.
Everyone, including the serving staff seemed to be so distracted that they appeared to be communicating with the mother-ship. A man who was clearly over the European Standard for the number of elbows per person barged me out of the way at the chiller to get at the soya-milk. Soya-milk. Not diamonds, not gold edged turds or comemerative teacosies of the late Saint Diana. Soya-milk.
I think that guy needed some perspective. And deodorant.
My problems didn't end there. At the checkout I was acosted by a man I've never met and regaled with his entire life story. Now if you're scott of the antarctic or Captain Cook I think your story would make quiet interesting listening. Although if you're from Huddersfield and moved to Wales 20 years ago and are still picking on the little differences between the two, I think you need a hobby. Or several.
Sorry, had a weird couple of days and very little makes sense at the moment. A rant is often the best way to clear the decks as it were.
Fiction soon.
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