Another disturbed sleep last night. The rugby club across the road regularly have bands on at the weekend and I can't blame them for it. They're very good at sticking to the licencing laws and I know how ever bad the music is, it'll be over by eleven on a school night and one AM on Friday or Saturday. Its a lot like halls in university that way. But when I'm knackered before those times on a weekend then going to bed really isn't an option. I've got earplugs and bottles of whisky aplenty (just kidding about that last one) but it can be very difficult to sleep when there's noise coming from across the road, especially when they open the fire doors for ventilation and the sound pours out like a audio fog, snakes across the road and hits our bedroom.
Anyone that knows me will tell you how easy going and relaxed I am generally. Unless I don't get a solid six/seven hours sleep, in which case I become something 'other'. Not exactly on a Bruce Banner/Hulk scale but similar.
"You're making me tired. You wouldn't like me when I'm tired."
Lets just call this alternate personality Less Than Pleasant Rob (LTPRob for short). If I've ever been mean or nasty to you, it wasn't me it was LTPRob. Whereas I might just let things go or not rise to jibes etc. LTPRob will get angry, annoyed and shouty then possibly fall asleep on you.
This was, seriously, one of my reasons for not joining the army. No, Really. I know they do the sleep deprivation thing and the waking you up at all hours to do a ten mile march etc.
The first time the Sargent came in to try and wake us at 3AM to do the assault course LTPRob would have beaten him to death with his own very shiny shoes and crawled back into bed. The MP's would have arrived to see a battered and bruised corpse and me, snoring peacefully, covered in his blood. (There was also the whole being a woolly leftist pacifist reason, but the sleeping thing is funnier.)
Anyways last night was not a band, and it wasn't karaoke. It occupied the no mans land in between those two acceptable and unacceptable forms of live music (I'm a musical snob.) This was a single male singer and a ipod full of tunes for him to sing over. He was pretty bad. It was clearly one of those situations where someone's tried their hand at Karaoke and through either inherent deafness or myopia he thinks,
"Hey! I'm awesome at this, I should make money from my 'talent'." thus showing complete disdain or ignorance of the crowds general apathy towards his musical ability. We'll probably see him on the next edition of Britain's got Talent. Well, you might see him. I'm a snob remember?
And yes, he went on till 1AM but I have a new solution, I made a play list of my favourite chill out music and some kick ass in-ear head phones. The Boards of Canada bleeped me off to sleep with their particular brand of odd mellow music.
It was once described to me as 'The first time you listen it's all bleeps and laid back beats. The second time you listen to it the bleeps start to make sense and the third time you can hear the depth and tone from each sound making it a audio landscape to lose yourself in.' The person describing it was an Art Student so I think we'll forgive her the flowery prose.
However those of you that don't know it I thoroughly recommend checking it out. My quote for the cover would be.
Drowns out even the most inept wannabe pub singers. - Rob Taylor, Professional Sleeper.
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