"Screw that" I thought, what else can I do with the cash. In the end I decided to take Em out for a few pints and we had such a great night together. We disscussed everything from politics, through gender preference out into string theory. It was wonderful.
Saturday, 28 June 2008
Friday nights.
"Screw that" I thought, what else can I do with the cash. In the end I decided to take Em out for a few pints and we had such a great night together. We disscussed everything from politics, through gender preference out into string theory. It was wonderful.
Friday, 27 June 2008
pubs
Sunday, 22 June 2008
Jason and trinas wedding.
Tuesday, 17 June 2008
blogger is being an arse!
Monday, 16 June 2008
2nd biannual pub crawl.
A throughly enjoyable night all around!
Sunday, 8 June 2008
hmmm.
Saturday, 7 June 2008
The weekend of rugby
Anyway, recovering on the couch with coffee and bad TV before meeting the rest of the Scoobies for the senior Wales v South Africa game. Sadly, and this was a blow, its on Sky so we HAVE to watch it in the pub. Darn.
:-)
Wednesday, 4 June 2008
writing
(Less of the pretentious wank soon, I promise!)
Saturday, 31 May 2008
Pop will eat Itself.

A fine band. A very politically active band, but this clip is brilliantly surreal. The late late show, was the Irish equivalent of Wogan, so to have him segue from being lovely and chatty with his respectable guests, cut to the audience of Blue rinses clapping politely, And then huge chunking riffs sent from before the dawn of time shatter their eardrums as Clint et al sing their anti-fascist song.
Genius!
(The action starts at about 1:10)
Friday, 30 May 2008
American Central

My old mate Warren's just made his first post from the heart of America on Notfussed .
The American election intrigues me in ways it probably shouldn't.
Anyway take a look.
Thursday, 29 May 2008
Weekend!
It's true. I'm pleased to announce that we can call off the search for the cutest baby of all time. You might think you're in contention with your awards, medals and or Nappy/Diaper advert babies, but this is a kid whose sheer physical presence bends space-time around him until you are helpless in his thrall of gorgeousness.
Full credit to Phil and Amanda not only have they brought up a serious cutesy-pie, he's also probably the best behaved baby I've ever met! (Actually at 10months old is he officially a toddler now? I'm so unsure of my infant chronology.) He was surrounded by gurgling adults and it didn't even phase him at all. He was playing laughing just cruising along quite happily as if he renders a room of hardened adults to Jelly every day, which I suppose he must do
It is so ALL about Jack.
So after a superb meal of curry and two puds (Well it would be rude not to,) at Chris and Judy's we headed to the hotel at about 10PM to find a Salsa club in full swing.
Banish from your thoughts men with goatees hanging around bowls of serious tomato-based dip, debating the merits of scotch bonnet over jalapeño peppers. This was the dancing club at the end of the midlife crisis rainbow. About forty or fifty overweight, over-forty's throwing themselves around the room with the grace and abandon of a tap-dancing Walrus. We secured a table in the bar as far away from the clattering Hippopotami as possible and re-mortgaged the house to pay for a round of drinks. (£3.50 a pint? Is this how they're cracking down on binge drinking? Making it impossible to have more than two pints without having a second income?)
However after a few more rounds of overpriced bitter we were feeling a bit more well disposed to the dancers, especially when they shared their buffet with us. I say shared, I mean "Rob and Wez went on a ninja buffet run and snarfed butties and some crisps for the group."
Sleep came easy that night, then up for a Herculean breakfast and off to the village hall where we celebrated my Great Aunt Rita's 80th birthday. It was lovely to see branches of the family I don't get to see very often including various Cousins and uncles and my Godmother.
My Gran had three kids, my mum and two uncles, and when we were growing up all the kids of the three siblings used to hang out quite a bit, It was very rare for us not to spend a week or so in a year together. Now we're all grown up (physically if not mentally in my case) we don't get to do it that often. So it was great to catch up with everyone and meet George, my Cousin once removed I think. He's the son of my cousin so whatever that makes him. George is also gorgeous, possibly the second cutest baby in the world, He's certainly the UK title holder.(Two cute babies, one extended family? I have a feeling the next baby will have to be a munter, just to even out the averages.)
So with the festivities over it was back the hotel and the incredibly pricey bar and a few rounds of three card brag before heading back up the country to Wales.
A superb weekend all told and one I'm going to remember for a very long time!
Saturday, 24 May 2008
beached
Friday, 23 May 2008
Keith Hannon RIP

Believe it or not its now been two years since we lost Keith. The plan is as ever to go the beach and down a few drinks in his honour. I no longer work at the same place but I have actually stayed friends with a lot of the people I used to work with there. Its a very rare thing especially for me, we'll see how long it lasts I suppose. I play football with the lads every tuesday so that helps to keep some continuity there.
One of the joys of Flexi-working is I was abel to take yesterday afternoon off and do all the little jobs that had been driving me mad. we're away this weekend and I just wanted to get everything done ahead of schedule so I wasn't worrying about it whilst we're away DAAWN SOUFFF!
Its my Great Aunt Ritas birthday on sat and we're all heading down to the south of England to get the whole family together, We were fed up of only seeing people for funerals so we organized a big nosh up for a birthday party instead. 67 of my close family will be there which is a good turn out. Also my first opportunity to meet my American Nephew Jack! I'm so proud and happy for my brother and Amanda, They're so good together that I just know they're going to raise him right . Of Course I reserve the right to spoil him rotten on his trips over here!!
Got The first draft of Switch three back from The editors. More red ink on the page than black but he said he enjoyed it, I'm just needing to polish it up before its ready for mass consumption.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is highly enjoyable. Its very much switch off the brain and go along for the ride. Some plot points don't make sense, some characters are ill-used and badly drawn, and some of the CGI is a bit overly done. HOWEVER its enormous amounts of fun, Indy has some great lines, the humour is well used and not too OTT and, in the words of the great Warren Ellis, It obeys and enjoys the genre. Its a big summer popcorn action movie, the kind they didn't make anymore.
So as Lincoln said "The kind of person who enjoys this sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they enjoy.". (No speechwriters in the early eighteen hundreds.)
Right I'm off to get drunk and remeber a good friend taken from us too soon.
Peace out houseys.
Saturday, 17 May 2008
a break.
However you do get some people who phone in week after week complaining about their pay when they've screwed it up themselves and refuse to do anything about it. You'd think after the third successive month of them mucking it up they'd take notice of what you're telling them, but no. So anyway that was my week mired in work, Listening to the enemy and elbows new albums.
What have you been up to?
Tuesday, 13 May 2008
doughnut day!
Weekend was ace, met up in betws y coed at 9 on sat after a glourious drive through wooded lanes with the morning mist rolling up the valleys from the sea. We picked up some bits and pieces from betws, set up camp in llyn gwynant and headed to Llanrwst to start for snowdon. It took 3.45 hours up and 2.45 down again but it was worth every step! It was a long hard slog and full credit to the gang it was done with the minimum of bitching and complaints. The summit was pretty crowded but when you saw the view youd know why.
Then back to camp for food and a fine bottle of single malt ive been saving. The pyromaniacs two tents over nearly set their tents, the ground and themselves on fire using half a forest and petrol to get it going. It was pure inbred retard theatre.
Then home to a nice dark room onthe sunday to avoid burning to death in the suns rays! And back to work.
Oh and the reason for the title? I brought donughts in for the office as they have to work on my payroll today!
Monday, 12 May 2008
definitions
I had a great weekend.
Thursday, 8 May 2008
Ferrous Dude
That is all.
Monday, 5 May 2008
Switch -Small Change

I find a lot of stories come from the distillation of several small items or thoughts coming together and mixing in just the right way
Small Change by Tom Waits is one of my favorite of his early songs. He really paints pictures of the underbelly of american city life and that put me in the mood of someone who would do anything to anyone for money
Add in Paris we went into a small bar for a coffee and a quick sit down and there were people their that looked like they spent all day just sat in the same seat watching the horse racing on these tiny TVs and I got thinking who would stay in the same crappy bar all day? there had to be something else going on.
Combine that with the documentary on Sumo I saw a few weeks before and you have this piece.
Its not ace but I've been clearing through some of the writing I've got on this computer and I found this and another piece Id swear I never written. I'm not going to publish that because its basically switch told from a different perspective but some of the details are totally different and I have to keep the continuity pure at least!
Switch - Small Change

Small Change got rained on by his own 38.
His nickname, like everything else about him, was totally inappropriate. He must have weighed four hundred pounds and was fat in that way sports stars go when they've got nothing to force them into the gym every morning.
He was a Sumo wrestler, won a few minor contests but he had little in the way of discipline, no composure and would let his temper get the better of him. Clever opponents would just taunt him into making a mistake.
Just after the biggest win of his burgeoning career he was found in a compromising position with the Dojo owner's daughter. If he'd been a star wrestler it could have been overlooked. Small Change, however was kicked to the curb with a size sixty waistline and few transferable talents.
Beating people up for money is always a skill set needed by a subsection of society and he had both training and experience in this specialised field.
He worked as muscle for a few small time Loan sharks for a while, learning the game before that small brain, insulated by several hundred pounds of blubber, clicked onto a new concept. He bounced Jimmy the Fish out of business, literally, and took up Jimmy's old patch and markers.
That first week Small-Change was in charge, ten of Jimmy's long-time non-payees ended up in A & E. They were the lucky ones who found a way to get the money. Unlike the two poor saps who took a ride to the cold metal slab downstairs.
That was the first time I had the pleasure of meeting him. Vice have got the sharking side of things but as soon as pulses slow to a dead stop that's when my boys get called in.
From the coroners report it wasn't hard to work out what had happened.
Having all your ribs crushed and your organs turned to pate can happen if you have a horrific Auto accident, or if a pissed off ex-sumo who you owe money to uses your chest as a trampoline.
Of course we couldn't prove anything, nobody wanted to talk and the word on the street was after that first week of carnage, everybody paid on time. No-one wanted to owe him money for too long. That's where his nickname came from, the whispers were he'd kill you even if you only owed him a few pennies.
Still if you were in a jam, needed some dough up front, no questions asked, he was your man. Every day, in the same reinforced seat, in the same bar, drinking the same cheap whiskey and laughing through his broken yellow teeth.
He was still smiling when we arrived on the scene, black eightball eyes showing the death blood of fatal head trauma. He was spread-eagled on the cheap lino of the barroom floor with six bullet holes. Two in the head and the other four in the enormous gut that flopped around his torso like a half deflated beach ball.
There was just something inherently wrong about his mouth of broken dentistry still smiling after death. Like having a Sick Animal Hospital next to a Vietnamese restaurant.
The gun, his gun, was found a block away. Wiped clean of course, and nobody was surprised when the ballistics matched the six slugs they pulled out of him to the pistols six chambers.
No witnesses, no suspects, no clues. Everyone wanted him dead for some reason and there was no pressure on us to pursue it.
All that was left of him after the coroner had removed the carcass was a gaudy Hawaiian shirt the size of a ships mainsail, covered with blood and whisky.
FIN (With thanks to Tom Waits for the title.)
Week-end

Had a great weekend camping, unlike most other bank holiday weekends this one had some serious sunshine so Em and I through the tent in the back of the car and escaped to the hills for a couple of days. More photos available at flickr on the left there.
We walked part of the snowdon path, found a lovely cafe near Beddgelert, went to the Pen t Gerryd hotel where one of the rooms is decked out like a wooden paneled Bothy/shelter.

Sausage sandwiches for breakfast. How can you argue? It was nice to spend time just the two of us but we're going back next weekend mob-handed. Its a different vibe when there are loads of you as opposed to just a couple. Its a peace and a closeness that I don't think I ever experienced before but I was always searching for it. Sorry I know that sentence doesn't make any sense but it how I feel. I was missing Her even when I didn't know she existed.
How unlucky can one man be?
This is the synopsis on Amazon
"A life-long pacifist, Eric Pleasants was forced to kill in order to survive. From a vagabond life alongside infamous Triple Cross agent Eddie Chapman on occupied Jersey, Pleasants was taken by the Nazis to a series of prison camps in France. The years that followed held a whirlwind of unexpected turns: he lived a life on the run in occupied Paris, was captured and recruited into the British Free Corps of the Waffen-SS, found love with a young German woman, witnessed the bombing of Dresden and attempted to hide from Soviet troops along the sewers of Berlin. When the war ended, Pleasants found himself on the Communist side of the Iron Curtain. By now a strong man in a travelling circus, he was arrested by the KGB on charges of espionage and sentenced to 25 years' slave labour in the notorious camps of Arctic Russia.Only with Stalin's death in 1953 was Pleasants finally released from his unique kind of purgatory, after nearly half a lifetime of peripatetic nightmare. Pleasants died in 1998 in Norfolk at the age of 87"
Can you only imagine? Suffering not only Hitler but Stalin as well and surviving to live and work in Norfolk???
I can see it in my mind. The Royal Legion (norfolk Branch) A group of WWII veterans are gathered around a table swapping stories of how hard they had it in the trenches or the POW camps of the east. One man claims that his experiences fighting through Normandy Belgium was as close to hell on earth as man can experience here. There's a derisive snort from the bar. They turn around to see Eric Pleasants standing there watching them with half a pint of bitter in his hand.
He strides over, slams his drink on the table and levels them with a stare forged in the fires of hades.
"Now let ME tell you a story...."
Friday, 2 May 2008
stuffage.
Wednesday, 30 April 2008
GTA IV
Back home and back to bed in time for a 7AM start and gaming all day at the Flyattic. Heaven. We went briefly online and it was like gazing into madness. Our worst fears realized.
However solo or just the 3 of us it was ace! Highly recomended.
Monday, 28 April 2008
an excellent weekend
And last night was the simply joyous Indiana Jones fest where we watched all 3 movies in Eds cinema room and ate pizza till burst point.
With GTA 4 being released tomorrow its a beautiful time to be a geek!
Thursday, 24 April 2008
Good Advice
Wednesday, 23 April 2008
sock er
In the spirit of the WWII trenches a game was organised of us versus them. Its interesting to measure how good people i thought were ace actually are against real competition.
However the point of this was we drew 4 all and EVERYONE said what a great match i had. No goals, no glory just hard running at the back. Which is nice considering how nerevous i was about screwing it up.
Lunchtime. Beautiful weather. Time for a walk I think.
Monday, 21 April 2008
weird day
Unusual item two. I went into our archive storage and found out its a WWII bomb shelter! Complete with airlock, shower and escape hatch! How weird!
Sunday, 20 April 2008
Cocktales
Oh and dont be temped to use cheap spirits. The reason theyre expensive is theyre much purer hence zero hangover. Remeber cheap = painful.
Saturday, 19 April 2008
P-A-R-T-Y-
One of the interesting things that i havent been sworn to secrecy over, were the photos from the club party 15 years ago. 1993 doesnt seem like that long ago to my poor addled brain but it is. Now were free of that age looking back you can see the fashions and the hairstyles, oh my God the hairstyles, that made the decade.
Going for a walk this afternoon to clear our heads before the cocktails this evening. Thinking about walking the beach rather than driving anywhere. Got a fuzzy singlemalt headache which is to be expected after four of us raided the pubs excellent selection of fine whisky.
home
Monday, 14 April 2008
filmy
From dusk till dawn is just as fresh and weird and quotable as ever. "Did they look like psychos to you? Psychos do not burst into flame when daylight hits them, I don't care how crazy they are!" its tarantino best acting and Clooney is simply gorgeous in it. Not a word i often use about men but he deserves it in this.
Futurama benders big score. Theyre back baby! The show that Fox couldnt kill is returned in a series of feature length direct to dvd movies. The plot is near incomprehensible, the jokes come thick and fast and its simply joyfull to see it again.
Hanibal rising. Is not a film i was keen to see. The scariest thing about that kind of character is the unknown and more importantly, the unknowable "why?" However in spite of all of that it turned out to be okay. Not the "full on gore and brutallity" that the box promised thank God, but a slow and thoughtful revenge movie.
And last and by all means least, priates of the caribean two: legend of the stupidly long title. Now i ADORED the 1st one and was told that this was an abomination so avoided it. Its not that bad but its not that great either. And when youre calling a film of that budget meidocre, somethings gone wrong somewhere.
Saturday, 12 April 2008
success!

Well, partial success anyways. Came third in our group of five, won two lost two and that could easily of been 2nd if my partner hadn't had the most unreliable serve ever.
Actually thats far too bitchy, I'm really sorry, He played really well and I was impressed with a lot of his long shots and the way he kept his head up even when we were up against it. Not everyone was so lucky with their draw for partners.
In other news:
Notfussed.com is back, sort of. Notfussed was a group of people I used to do some writing with and for for a couple of years. Its demise in 2003 directly related to me actually starting this blog. I had no vent for my random spleen so I had to start somewhere. Hopefully it'll be back up fully soon. Just working on a couple of pieces for it now.
The Enemy have been accurately compared to the Jam but with a spark and vitality that is definitely this century. excellent stuff.
Coffee is one of my primary treats, in fact I wrote a whole diatribe on it in a piece of fiction that will probably never see the light of day. In fact here it is;
"3: How do I get some coffee?
Coffee, for me, is the universal language of the morning. It does not matter if you rise in your exquisite flat in Pall Mall or in a rough Yurt in deepest Asia, the grinding of the roasted beans and the brewing in hot, not boiling, water is a mantra that steadies the nerves and comforts the soul. The mere running through of the ritual is enough to start you on the road to cope with what ever fate may strew in your path that day and then the magical properties of the draft will imbue you with the courage to at least begin the day in the correct frame of mind. "
I do feel the need to point out its written in the style of an 18th century writer who's just been dispatched to pre-seige paris while the Prussian hordes are massing. The main reason I haven't done anything further with it is I can't decide to make it fully historically accurate or turn it into a 'birth of steampunk' type work.
The history angle will probably win out as its a fascinating, and relatively unexplored period in history without steam powered robots and Zeppelins being thrown into the mix.
Got another weekend of rugby goodness today and that'll probably be it until the Wales tour of South Africa in summer. Its been quite a season even without the grand slam. Its cemented my support of Welsh rugby in general, I think its a fantastic game and much more eventful than a premiership match. IMOHO
Friday, 11 April 2008
tonight!
Everyone plays so its a mixed ability thing. Then its off dans le pub!
Thursday, 10 April 2008
list of things.
Ran the payroll by myself this month which was great. Well find out how well when the payslips go out to the people.
Bloke on tv managed to make new york look interesting and unique. When we went it felt like an overdeveloped Milton Keynes.
Tuesday, 1 April 2008
posty
Really wanted to camp but judgement better than mine won out. Thank goodness! Id still be soaked even now! Sadly it will be past june before we'll be able to go again as the weekends are just heaving.
Rewrote switch 3 last week. Much happier with the length and pace of it. Its always something i have to concentrate on im too keen to get to the bits i find interesting!
Sunday, 23 March 2008
weekend of lesuire
Arrived on thurs and walked around damp london streets to gaze at architecture and find a good burger. I'm a simple creature that way. Also enjoyed some 12% belgian beer. Yummy!
Sat we stayed in the house all day and watched dvds. Heaven.
Sun we met up with Wezs parents. Ate some quality food drank some excellent beer and sang some atrocious karoke! Woo!
Best weekend ever!
Saturday, 15 March 2008
woo hoo!
Saturday, 8 March 2008
wales 16 Ireland 12
irish stew.....in the name of the law.
So today the mighty welsh take on the green giants of ireland and in there honour I'm trying to make an irish stew with leeks. Hmmm I'll let you know how that goes. If you don't much fancy the rugby howabout spending an hour or so whating one of the most beatuiful documentrys ever made. FOR FREE!
Sigur Ros have released their full length documentary "Heima" on Youtube. Its about them going home to Iceland and playing tiny free gigs for locals. The music is just otherworldly and beautiful. Its a full hour and a half though which I think is ace, this is the kind of thing the interwubs were invented for.
HERE
I love the idea of artists creating and putting stuff out there for free. I think what the rise of technology has done has take control out of the hands of publishers. People are creating just as much now as they ever did but if you're a musician you can use myspace to get your songs heard. If you're a film maker youtube will take care of all your distribution needs. If you're a writer there are hundreds of free places to get your writing published (If you're really cheap you just upload it on your blog.)
Not much else has been happening, played some of the worst badminton of my life on monday, I blame a poor diet, then played pretty good football on tuesday, Wednesday we chilled the hell out thursday and friday more badminton.
Oh I've stocked up on beer and playdough for tonight so expect stupid photos soon!
Saturday, 1 March 2008
A veritable multitude of stuff.
Well the sunday after the mad angleseys dash we headed up through the hills over Moel Famau to a little pub in cilcain and then walked back, which was an ace way of spending a sunday. Work was fairly dull that week, then I went to my old local for a leaving do.
It was quiet odd actually, I got talking to one of the bar maids that I used to know quite well, and it turns out in the intervening year or so since I was last there she working in Australia for 6 months and saw he world, then one of the other bar type persons whose moved on walked in and we had quiet a little chin wag. Its weird how you can have such a profound affect on people without even meaning to. I mean these guys must have served thousands of different people working at that bar, but they remembered me and my friends because we were always nice and treated them like people rather than servants.
I remember working at the bar in liverpool the tip system was very simple and worked in cabs as well, the client would say 'take your own' and you'd round the change up to the nearest 50p. Less shrapnel for them to carry on a night out, and some of the jeans were tight, and a bit of tip for the end of the night. It was little things like that which would get you remember and served first when you came back to the bar. obviously flashing TOO much cash would have the reverse effect but being a poor student that was highly unlikely to happen.
So after a highly satisfactory night out we had an evening in watching rugby on saturday with the usual crew, much fun, beer and cottage pie...YUMMY!
Got the bare bones of the next story together. I could wash my hands of it now, but I think sitting on it for a couple of days and coming to it fresh will really do it the power of good. It worked for the last switch.
Sunday was a quiet affair back at HQ. Had a heavy badminton match on monday, I won my mixed and lost the mens by 2 points I think, A sterling performance on all counts. I'm noticing I'm missing more shots towards the end of the match so I think I'm going to have to work on my fitness to keep a good level; of competition for the whole event. But everyones been really complementary about my game recently. Just need to learn to smash. I got hit by a shuttle fired from our A team number one man and its still hurting today! Now thats power! It sounds like a howitzer when he really lets fly. But the best thing is hes actually a really nice guy. He'll quiet happyily have a game with new starters just to get them playing.
Today its time for geekfest again, we haven't just got together to plaay silly coimputer games in ages so thats the plan.
Sunday, 17 February 2008
HAVE YOU SEEN OUR VIEW??????
It totally re-ignited my desire to spend all my free time in the countryside. There was not a single cloud in the sky, as em and I left Rhyl for destinations unknown. we stopped in Betws y coed and had an awesome fried breakfast and I managed to get a new goretex waterproof for forty of your english pounds!!! I was prepared to pay an extra hundred quid on top of that. It was then on to Anglesey where what confronted us was a beach of rare beauty with the sun bright but not too strong. It was absolute heaven. we stayed for a few hours, came home and went straight to the pub were we sat talking for about four or five hours and Em totally cured my narrative block with Switch number 3. I had one of those moments that I actually write for. Em said a simple sentence, the planets aligned and the scales fell from my eyes showing me how easy the thing I had considered so complicated before.
Then after me bouncing around the room in an embarrassing fashion full of the fizz of invention we went home watched a club rugby game and ate posh hot-dogs with home-brew until it was time to sleep.
If I could have one day to live over and over again in a groundhog day sty-lee, it would be that one (or my wedding day, I'm not fussy!)
(N>B> Blogger seems to be having a brain fart so the photos from today are at flikr the links on the left there. Don't be shy!)
Saturday, 9 February 2008
As long as we beat the English.......

Morning!
What a great weekend we had last week.
For those unaccustomed to Rugby I have to point out we do not *hate* England. They are the yardstick by which we measure our own level of achievement, they are the team to beat, the Yankees if you will. Some fans take this whole us against the english thing to darn far but for me I want to see a strong powerful England. And then I want to see wales smash them.
So thats was saturday afternoon and we followed our astounding victory with a pub crawl around Denbigh which was actually great fun, some nice pubs there, some not so nice ones but thats to be expected! Sunday I sat up with a friend and watched the Superbowl whilst he explained the intricasies of the NFL to me. Its actually a very interesting game blending power and skill in equal measure. I think a lot of people are put of by 'stoppages' but really there aren't that many. I really enjoyed the game and the fact is was won in the last minute of time with and incredible display of skill also helps!
Monday was a recovery day and then on tuesday I scored at five aside! I should point out I play way way back in defence and in three years of playing I've taken about two or three strikes on goal and this one went in. I couldn't actually belive it in fact I may have been a little embarassing! whoops.
Anyway I had to celebrate somehow.
Wednesday saw Cloverfield at the cinema, I can't reccomend it enough. its a superbly thought out and well made movie but may induce motion sickness in those prone to it.
Thursday played some of the best badminton of my life and then played like crap last night but thats okay. Because today is Wales v Scotland both teams with something to prove and it should be a good match up!
Laters!
Saturday, 2 February 2008
Remember me?

Morning.
Been a really quiet couple of weeks. I actually managed to bore myself the other day whilst speaking and that cannot be a good thing. I've kinda realized that my life has become quiet and nondescript. And do you know what? I LOVE IT.
Domesticity has been so good for me. it helps, Of course, if you marry an angel like what I did!
Urm played a lot of badminton recently and I've definitely felt an improvement in my game. Its kind of weird that some of the younger members (15+) have started picking me for doubles. Its kind of like being accepted. I suppose I've been there for two seasons now so I am a full member type thing. Weird.
Sorry I know I'm rambling, this is a weird phase for me, I've got a semi-cold which means I'm having about a thousand ideas but half of them don't make sense and I keep tailing off mid sentence.
ANYWAYS
Its the happiest weekend of the year for me as it the start of the 6-nations today, Wales get to face our neighbors and test our mettle against the world cup finalists. Personally I think we're going to get muellered but there is a chance we could turn them. Just got to put a comforting layer of beer in-between me and reality before kick off!
Other things I wanted to discuss:
The WOMBATS are ace.
WOMBAT me
Scientologists are a bunch of cults who really need to be stopped.
SCARE me
Dan Abnett is one of the best writers I've ever had the privllidge of reading.
INSPIRE me
The Democratic candiate is a choice between the whitest black man I've ever seen or the most masculine woman. Still, better than Romney.
VOTE (for anyone but) me
Peace out Homeslices.
Sunday, 20 January 2008
News from the front (room).

Painting is less fun than you may have been led to believe, however the front room is now a very attractive shade of magnolia. And so are parts of the carpet, the couch and the neighbors dog.
Had a very busy week in work, and much as I fancied saying "F' it" on friday and throwing a tent into the car and heading up into the hills this weekend with my better half (Well, third by weight) I knew we were going to have to actually do the painting at some-point. Let me tell you, putting a light coloured paint over walls already coloured lightly is not the easiest thing to do, its easy to get lost and loose what's been panted and what hasn't. However I was rewarded for my efforts with a pub meal and a couple of pints of the delicious Snowdonia Ale. One room down and one room to go!
Played competitive badminton on thursday in Mold and we got our respective arses handed to us. The team we played have lost one match all season and it was easy to see why. Badminton is really interesting from a point of view that you get all ages mixing and competing at the same level. There's no veterans league and there doesn't need to be, you can be just as affective at 60 as you were at 20, it a great leveler. And fun too cause some of the old timers are a right laugh.
Off now to a Williams Clan family gathering, which means there will be food alcohol and laughter in equal measure. Perfect for a sunday lunchtime.
Sunday, 13 January 2008
things
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Went for a walk yesterday up in Llanfairfechan with the usual suspects. It was great to do some proper walking again even if it was only for a couple of hours. I was paranoid we'd get trapped up on the mountain if we left it too long so I did curtail the walk a bit early. Parking about a mile away from the start of the hike was probably a mistake as well. Really enjoyed it though we'll have to make more of an effort to actually get out and about in the country around here because it truly is gorgeous at any time of year.
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Had a good week in work, taking on more responsibility is great for payroll because you feel like you own that process, like the actual correct payment lies on you. Which, for me, is a good thing.
Then we went for a curry at the best curry house in the area, the service was a bit slow but the curries are so good there that no one complains. I can recommend the chicken tikka Marsala without a hint of irony as it is one of the finest I have ever tasted, even retaining that deep deep red of the tikka spice not this horrible washed out orange that you see mostly everywhere else.
Made some more beer ready for the start of the six nations. the last batch was wonder full from the keg but didn't sit well in bottles. Still drinkable mind you but not the easy pleasant drinking it was straight from the spigot.

About this photo, sometimes the interwebs just shoot out random bits of fluff that make you think WTF? I have no idea what that photo is about but its compelling isn't it? Apparently there was an article in a German newspaper that correlated the number of world war 2 movies on British TV with the week they were in. Peaking at Xmas time of course.
Saturday, 5 January 2008
David Lynch, genius.
Sunday, 30 December 2007
the joy of toast.
No I haven't abandoned you, just been a weird coupld of weeks with work and everything. I've written this before but my current job is aproximatley 100% more absorbing than my old one meaning theres much less time to actually update this on a regular schedule, also the computer chair at home, which my buttocksa are currently embracing is not comfy, in a back room which stays cold and is not the most inviting place to come and spend a few hours writing, something I am saving up for is a folding bluetooth keyboard which would not only work with the wii, enabling e to update from the comfot of the couch, but also my phone which would mean I could write posts a hell of a lot faster from whatever park bench/airport lounge, pub I find myself in at the time. But It'll be a couple of months before I can get hold of one.
The post title towards toast is because em and I spurlged yesterday getting all the stuff we've been meaning to get for the house for ages, including (but not limited to) a new microwave, kettle and Toaster! No more lighting the grill (Broiler) for toast , Two slices of bread in, two slices of toast out! Wicked! (As Jane pointed out it was like I was in a student house!)
Joy.
Managed to get a cold from my friends, I'm not pointing fingers but three different people were all laid up in bed for at least a coupld of days and right now the only thing keeping me on my feet (or rather buttocks) is the insane amounts of coffee I've drunk to counteract the affects of the cold medication I've taken. Its like two aries are figthing for control of my system. One wants to go to bed and pull the covers over my head until the new year, the other wants to go dancing!
I'll go in reverse cronolgical order since I last posted.
Had a wicked party at Rob and carolines on friday night, played chess and trival pursuit and drank some beer and managed to avoid the homemade chilli vodka. Everyones coming over to our for new years and I have playdough and poker lined up for entertainment purposes!
Wrote some more music with will and Llion on thursday, nothing quite as scandeluos as last time but done in the same spirit. I'm thinking I need to write these things ahead of time to check them back as having read what I scribbed down in minutes at wills, I'd change nearly all of it if I could now.
Before that was a lovely xmas/new year with my inlaws who are all, to a person, lovely down to earth people. Its great to find a family were not only does everyone get on but they actually seek out each otheres company regularly. I'm very close to my family as well so having that one both sides of my marrige is fantastic.
before htat had a pub crawl around st asaph my old stomping ground. It turns out one of the old mans pubs in teh village is now a john wanye theme pub. In that theres all sorts of replicas and memorbilia on the walls. They're also serving real ale, which is a small passion of mine so I think my future business wil be driected there!
Anyways got to get on today got new years eve to prepare.
Later
Saturday, 15 December 2007
Night out
Friday, 14 December 2007
xmas lunch
Sunday, 9 December 2007
Nevermind rapido
Or you could pay £5 and get a jumbo box of playdough and have a much much better time.
One person sits out and tells the other people they have 2 minutes to make an item/person/place/thing and once the time is over they judge who created the best.
ANGEL
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BOXING
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CAN'T REMEMBER, POSSIBLY ME.
Saturday, 8 December 2007
catch-up

Morning.
Bit of a catch up I think
Last weekend was fake xmas, My sister and her fiance the mighty mighty Wez came up on the Friday just missing Steve and Kara by a couple of hours. It was great to hang out with Steve and Kara for a bit, they're good friends who we never really get the chance to see but with that kind of relationship you know its good when you can just slip back into a conversation that you started 3 years ago. It great to have those kind of relationships and I feel very privileged to have that with a few people.
Jane and Wez were knackered after driving up from London so it was time for bed and then Saturday over to mums house for xmas dinner followed by Wez teaching us the intricacies of texas-hold-em poker. Even my mum really got involved in the rounds of bluffing and better (for chips not for actual dosh).
Sunday Wez, Em and I had 18 holes on tiger woods *ITS GOOD* on the wii. I wonder why anyone would buy any other version? You hold the remote like a club, swing in the same way and its sensitive enough that if you hook your shot in real life you'll hook it here. Its a great chill out game, as long as you don't take your golf tooooooooo seriously. Lets face it, its the only way I'd ever be able to play on the old course at st Andrews.
Quite busy at work at the moment thanks to a backdated pay award from April, which basically means every calculation on pay done to date needs revising. Keeping me employed anyways.
Had a cracking game of footie on tues, five or six people came up to me after the game to tell me how well I'd played, which is a first in my book. I'm never picked last for the teams anymore, which I think is the biggest complement anyone could ever pay me. Oh yeah and the wind was unbelievable. it was blowing the ball all over the shop so it made for a frenetic unpredictable game. Which was cool. And its great to keep up with old friends from my previous work. When you met people that you have an easy uncomplicated rapport with you should hold on to that for as long as you can.
Last night was badminton and Will came along for the first time which was great, I was pleased at how well he fitted in. His kamikaze style of badminton is always good to watch and I think playing against some of the better player at the club he'll just get better and better. He told me hes writing a story which sounds really good I can't wait to see what he comes up with.
Today is Mild Mayhem day. People are coming over for pictionary, rude word scrabble, poker and pizza. Or basically just to hang out... which is something I adore.
Oh and the picture is from this site Rap represented in graphical format. It pretty funny... even if you know nothing about rap!
peace out home slice!!
Sunday, 2 December 2007
fake xmas
I love doing xmas twice a year! Woot!
Saturday, 24 November 2007
hmm.
My commute....
Wednesday, 21 November 2007
Itsa me!
Friday, 16 November 2007
Geekfest is go!
4 bags of crisps,
1 massive tub of dip,
2 pizzas,
4 bottles of coke,
6 sandwiches,
2 wiis,
and 3 copies of mario galaxy.
See you on Monday!
Switch Part 2

Switch 2
The car cut a swathe through the heavy summer air, shafts of light glinting through the partial canopy cover that the trees provided over the twisting mountain road. To our left the grass curb dropped steeply into the lush green of the deep valley. It was summer and the world seemed to be coming alive around us.
"Nice to be out of the city hunh?" Remy said, twisting the car into the next bend. I grunted and let the feel of the country wash over me. I loved to come here as often as I could, which was never as frequently as I would like. For most people born in the heart of the city, the country held a romantic fascination that rarely lived up to expectation. But I adored it. The mud and rain and earth made it real, vital in a way the muted concrete of the city never would be.
But this wasn't a pleasure trip. After the unpleasantness of the Van Sant incident, the chief had ordered us both out for a short while to let the public forget about it. To be honest, I was surprised by the fuss over it. When the evidence had all been properly examined he was clearly guilty and had committed suicide when confronted by a police officer. The chief had to fight down suggestions that I had manhandled him off his balcony. I suppose I hadn't helped. Van Sant was a homicidal narcissist with a penchant for the bizarre to colour his jaded pallet and I was glad he was dead. Although I probably shouldn't have said exactly those words to the reporter.
As the breeze drifted in through the open window, I felt it dissipate the tension of the past few weeks. Remy left me to my thoughts as he maneuvered the car over the undulating tarmac.
I'd almost fallen asleep by the time we pulled up in front of two enormous iron gates with the motto Fiat Lux emblazoned on them.
"We're here," Remy redundantly ventured as I gazed up at the distant ivy covered buildings. For a school it was pretty classy, large open playing fields teeming with identically garbed boys chasing some unseen ball in a game I'd once been forced to play but never knew the rules to. It seemed to involve a carefully measured level of violence and was probably meant to be confidence boosting. As I was one of the boys who'd stood on the pitch and got elbowed, kicked and punched out of the way, all it seemed to boost was my desire not to play the goddamn game.
The immaculate gravel crunched as we rolled up to the front entrance of the building. The crest on the gates was repeated here, dominating the arched door. Its austere facing was designed to impress onto small boys the absolute authority of the School and its Masters. The overtly serious demeanour implied any rebellion would be crushed and any deviation from the norm would be stamped on and destroyed. Private schools are not places where the weak, the different or the just plain weird thrive. They are independent fascist states bound by no laws higher than that of their supreme ruler, the Headmaster.
A squat black robed figure approached us from some unseen door in a state of high agitation.
"I told him to make sure you parked around the back! I don't want any disruption to the pupils, there's enough anxiety as it is!"
I looked back at the field full of laughing, shouting boys and then back at him. All the anxiety seemed to be emanating from this small red faced rotund man who could almost be described as jolly if not for the mortarboard and gown. This, and the stress and worry written clear on his visage, gave him the look of a fat man who's just seen the last doughnut being scoffed by someone else.
"Where shall I move the car to then sir?" asked Remy, politeness seeping out of every pore.
"Well, it's here now I suppose," remarked the man, all the bluster falling out of his sails. "I'm Thompson, the headmaster. You're the gentlemen Blunko sent?"
"Yes we are," I confirmed, storing away my superiors obvious school nickname for later use. "Can you show us the, urm..."
"Of course. This way please."
He turned gracefully for a gentleman of his girth and paced away through the main entrance. Remy and I followed him through the ivy covered archway.
"Charterhouse is one of this countries oldest schools." His words floated back to us over his wake. "We take the children of today and turn them into the leaders of tomorrow." He had clearly forgotten that Remy and I weren't prospective parents and was giving us the full spiel usually reserved for those rich enough to even consider sending their sprogs here.
"Our academic record is second to none with the highest proportion of students going on to the great triumvarate of Universities. But we believe a healthy mind must be supported by a healthy body. Physical education must be a primary concern of a Charterhouse man."
I'd done my research and behind all the bluster there did lurk a few nuggets of truth. The standard of education here was clearly head and shoulders above anything else available, even to the super-rich. The results spoke for themselves. Almost all graduates from Charterhouse went on to university and from there to the highest echelons of society. Captains of industry, political leaders; they had all at one time walked these marbled sunlit halls, including our very own police chief.
"We like to consider being at Charterhouse a passport to greatness," said Thompson, stopping outside a door marked Infirmary. "Which is why this issue needs to be dealt with quietly and competently." He looked at my partner and I as if he suspected us of carrying a live TV feed to the media.
He opened the wood panelled door and we stepped into a vaulted ward room with a number of occupied beds.
Three boys were sat in the beds, bolt upright, gazing vacantly in front of them. They were mid-teens with that well-fed, well-bred look that a certain level of privilege seems to bring.
However, belying this healthy image, the boys facial muscles were completely slack giving them the appearance of a vacant house. There, but not there at the same time. The eyes were totally dead as though no spark or soul was being held in that vessel.
I waved my hand in front of their faces but there was no response at all.
Remy took a pulse from one of the boys and peered deep into the eyes of another. There was no resistance to his gentle ministrations. It was as if they were simply lumps of meat with no reactions or feelings of their own.
"This is very interesting but shouldn't you have called in a doctor?'"
"We have a nurse on site and she did call for him but he could find nothing wrong. We thought they were acting up for being discovered where they shouldn't have been."
"And that was?"
"The library. Sitting up in the same manner you see them now." He looked at us intently. "We need to find whatever drug these boys have been taking and put a stop to it at once."
"A drug?" my partner replied, all innocence.
"I'm a man of the world, sir. I've seen my fair share and this looks like a drug induced coma to me."
It didn't seem much like a drug break to me.
I'd been walking the beat for the acid frenzy of '43, when a batch of pure LSD hit the streets. The stuff you normally encounter is watered down to be acceptable to the normal palette. Think about a glass of beer compared with a pint of 100% pure alcohol.
We filled the nut houses that summer. All these people just looking for a quick escape for a few hours suddenly finding their trip lasting for weeks or months with no let up, no escape. They couldn't sleep, they couldn't relax, most tried to beat themselves unconscious just for the peace.
You'd have to have a fairly firm grip on reality to survive that and if you're the kind of person who's taking acid for fun then you're probably not that person. Doors of Perception my arse.
But even those poor drooling freaks were a picnic compared to the eerie inhuman stillness that these three exhibited. The boys were really starting to creep me out.
"Maybe we should see the library, where it actually happened," I ventured.
The library was deeply impressive and yet suffocating. Dark oak surrounded us on two floors with the thick rich red of leather-bound volumes. Boys were scurrying around carrying huge books almost their own size.
"Where were they sitting?"
"Just over here." Thompson pointed to the head of the table. "I found them myself. I saw the light on as I took my usual rounds. I thought the caretaker had left it on accidentally. I had the shock of my life seeing them there."
"How were they sat?" I asked.
"They were bent over some art book or other. Jenkins sitting at the head of the table and the other two peering over his shoulders." He pointed to the head of the dark wooden table that covered more space than my apartment. The strong sunlight fell through an enormous window, highlighting the motes of dust, dancing in the breeze.
"Where is this book now?"
"Urm..." Thompson walked over to a recessed shelf and pulled a large silver book out.
"I believe this was it, although what something like this is doing in our library is a puzzle. It must belong to the art department."
The title was 'The Dark Hand - Nightmare Visions. Drawing and inspirations from Lovecraft'.
I was familiar enough with Lovecraft's work to know what to expect from someone 'influenced' by him, and the book didn't disappoint. Demons and humans, in hate and lust and a unshakable feeling of creeping dread. Evil images and dark forbidding pages shrieked of hidden twisted knowledge and eldritch magics.
"I don't believe in magic," said Remy, peering at the book over my shoulder.
"Magic is rabbits and hats and sleight of hand," I replied. "What happened to these children isn't magic. This is something much more sinister. Mr Thompson," I said, snapping the book shut. "I'm going to have the boys taken to the local hospital for further tests."
He was distraught at this prospect. "You can't take the boys out of school! They're my responsibility. We haven't told their parents yet!"
I restrained myself from reminding him where his responsibility had led these three boys.
"Actually sir, yes we can," I replied. "We'd rather have your permission but I do have the authority to take them without it."
"I'll speak to your supervisor!"
"By all means do so sir, but while he's confirming everything I've just told you, these boys will be in the hospital being examined."
He huffed for a bit and then stormed off without another word. He'd grown so used to being the ultimate authority that he simply wasn't used to taking orders.
"You've made an enemy there you know," said Remy.
"I'll have to learn to live with the pain," I said, turning back to the book.
I got the phone-call whilst I was sitting in the fourteenth interview of the day. It was with a small scared classmate of the three boys who, like his fellows, clearly knew nothing of what had happened. The scans had come back. There was a cloud over part of their brains all at the same point. Some metallic substance they said. A chill came over me. I'd seen this before.
I turned to Remy, interrupting his attempt to staunch the terrified tears from the boy.
"Get Delyth to meet me at the hospital and tell her to bring her full kit."
I drove myself there at full speed, leaving Remy to interview the rest of their class. I didn't think much good would come of questioning them. Even if they knew something, chances were that they wouldn't tell a police officer. Being expelled from the most prestigious school in the country was hardly the best thing to have on your resume.
I reached the room they were keeping the boys in. It had painfully bright walls and that smell of disinfectant and decay that my father always referred to as freshly scrubbed death. The three boys were still sitting bolt upright staring at the opposite empty wall.
Delyth was already examining the oldest boy, Jenkins Junior as he'd been called. There was very little junior about this tall muscular youth and only the tell tale rash of acne across his forehead gave away his teenage hormone crisis. She looked up at me when I walked in.
"This is absolutely fascinating!" she exclaimed.
Delyth was about as far from your typical IT person as you could get. She was short with glossy black hair a permanent smile and the quickest wits you'd see this side of a gameshow panellist. She didn't need glasses but wore them anyway. "People don't take attractive women seriously unless they're wearing glasses. Men are thinking about how to get me into bed and women tend to be distrustful if they see me as a threat."
"Is it what I think it is?" I asked, skipping the usual formalities.
"Yes, I believe so." She turned, focusing that thousand watt glare on me. "Although I'm intrigued by how you knew what to look for."
"Long story."
"And one day you're going to tell me that story."
We shared a tight smile.
"Let's just say China was quite an education," I said.
"For now." She shifted back into full-on professional mode.
"The metal that was picked up in the x-rays is a neural net. It's an inhalant computer. Absorbed through the lungs it travels through the blood stream to the brain, latches over the cerebellum and plugs in. It increases speed of thought, memory and basically boosts the brain to somewhere near genius level. My question is, where the hell did these kids get their hands on this kind of technology?"
I'd been asking myself the exact same question.
"I have my suspicions. Is the net still active? Can we talk to it?"
"Should be able to, it uses the same sensory pathways as the brain does, but remember the only things I know about these things are what I've read in speculative journals. This stuff is way in advance of anything I've encountered before. I'm going to try to access the computer directly via the low level system monitoring."
She reached into her bag and pulled out a small foldaway computer. The black rectangle opened itself like a book and floated above her knees as the screen flickered into existence in front of her.
"This may take some time," she said, putting a pair of headphones in Jenkins' ears.
She began entering commands and through the baffle of the headphones I could hear the tell-tale sound of computer noise.
For an hour Delyth typed commands into the laptop, looking for some reaction from the human statue in front of her. I was feeling rather like a spare part. I had already gone to get coffee and was considering going back to help Remy.
Suddenly Jenkins turned and regarded me with light again in his eyes. The movements were jerky and slow. It was clear whatever was left of the boy was not in control now.
"I think you may have cracked it." I said, feeling totally freaked out by the soul-sucking gaze locked onto my own.
//PATH//QUERY?
Delyth and I looked at each other. The words did not sound like the voice of a fifteen year old although they had just emerged from his mouth.
Delyth typed into the keyboard.
-Repeat.-
//PATH//QUERY?
The words shuddered out of his mouth giving them an electric quality. They had no accent or expression on them. The harsh language of the machine.
-Self Scan. Report.-
//REPORT//SCAN SHOWS 30% OPERATING EFFICIENCY. SEVERE DAMAGE TO ORGANIC SECTIONS A4E THROUGH E9B.//QUERY?
-Can the damage be repaired? Report.-
//REPORT//NO.//QUERY?
-Expand previous query. Report.-
//REPORT//NO. DAMAGE TOO SEVERE FOR RECOVERY. ORGANIC HOST LIMITED TO AUTONOMOUS FUNCTIONS ONLY.//QUERY?
-What happened?-
//REPORT//QUERY NOT UNDERSTOOD.//QUERY?
-How did the damage occur?-
//REPORT//OCCULAR SENSORY INPUT MISMATCH. EXTRA CEREBRAL RESOURCE USED. CASCADE EFFECT CAUSED ORGANIC SYSTEM DAMAGE. SHUTDOWN OF ALL AREAS. SHUTDOWN TO CONTINUE UNTIL FULL REBOOT.//QUERY?
So that was it. Jenkins had seen something that had caused the net such confusion it had pulled in all of its own resources to try and puzzle it out. Then, when it ran out of its own resources it pulled his in as well, using his own brain against itself. Total Shutdown. Except for the autonomous bits that he needed to keep breathing.
The question was, what had he seen? And what had the others seen after that?
"Ask it for the last image it saw."
Delyths fingers danced over the keys, and a picture emerged from the screen. A blasphemous 3D image resolved itself, like Escher possessed by the spirit of the Marquis de Sade. Bodies, human and otherwise, in various unnatural and disturbing acts. There was enough oddness and sexuality to attract the attention of three hormone ridden teenagers, but surely these perverted lusts were not enough to completely shut down three fully functional neural nets.
The frame around the picture attracted my attention. It had a series of runes or picto-glyphs running the around the entire border of the page.
"Look at those," said Delyth, her finger tracing the glyphs, one step ahead of me as ever. "It's a mathematical equation."
She copied the glyphs into a routine on her computer and pressed enter.
The image on the screen shuddered and died, leaving Delyth prodding buttons and swearing profusely and eloquently. When the torrent of abuse had stopped I asked her what had happened.
"It's an unsolvable equation. It has no solution. It's like a feedback loop, just builds up on itself becoming bigger and bigger with each cycle until it becomes too big for the computer to deal with."
She looked over at the three impassive faces staring at the far wall.
"Those poor bastards. One glance at that page and the net tried to process the equation, to make sense of it. When it ran out of its own power it started drawing in the surrounding brainpower. The boys wouldn't even know what they were looking at or why they couldn't look away as the neural net tightened on their cerebellum. Drawing more and more brain power away until they were left blank. Completely drained of thought and emotion."
"Is there..."
"No," she sighed shaking her head sadly, "They've been completely wiped clean. There nothing left in there now. Look." She held up her laptop. "Just an expensive paperweight now, everything's wiped. Their brains, the computer, total reset."
I burst into the heads office, through the protests of his secretary. It was, as you'd expect, stuffy and musty with leather and mahogany everything. Framed photos of austere gentlemen frowned down on us from every wall. But I wasn't looking at them, I was looking at the man that had caused irreversible brain damage to three innocent boys.
"What on earth...!?" he began.
"Sit down and shut up."
"I will do no such thing until you..."
"Sit down. Shut up."
He obeyed, my tone conveying everything I was feeling right then.
"I know about the nets."
His ruddy face paled and he waved off the secretary who shut the door behind herself.
"What nets?"
I smiled thinly.
"The neural nets you gave to those boys to keep their marks high. What was wrong with them? Too thick for Charterhouses' high standards?"
"I have no idea what you could be talking about."
"Play it dumb for now but we know it had to be you. Those boys didn't have the connections to get hold of those computers. You'd need major pull, huge finances and most importantly, trade contacts with China."
"China? That's preposterous."
"Is it? These things can only be made on the far side of the Silicon Curtain. We don't possess this level of technology any more."
I changed tack.
"We've got you clearly and cleanly. Protest all you want."
He sagged. He head sunk into his hands, knowing he had been caught out.
I softened my voice. There were still a few things he could resolve for me.
"Why these particular boys? That's the only thing I can't figure out."
"These boys?" he spat, the fire returning as he stared up at me, "You think its just these three boys? Everyone at Charterhouse has them. Everyone who has ever been to Charterhouse has them. Everyone!"
It was my turn to look stunned. Suddenly it all made sense. The high test scores. The schools unassailable position as the best in the country. All the achievements down to a micron thick layer of metal and silicon, processing faster than any unassisted brain ever could.
"Do you know what kind of genetic stock we've got now? Some of these blue-bloods have thirteen toes! We had to preserve the good name of this school. We add the supplement to their first medical here and they have no idea why they can suddenly understand concepts they couldn't even grasp before. The parents put it down to the Charterhouse way. We've been doing this for over two hundred years with no ill effects at all. Until now."
Everything started swimming in front of my eyes. Every living graduate from Charterhouse had been assisted by a computer and was still being assisted now. Some of the most important people in this countries most powerful positions.
The headmaster interrupted my brooding.
"Was it drugs?"
"Drugs?"
"That caused the boys to blank out. Are they better now, are they okay?"
I suddenly realised the enormity of what was before me.
Imagine the power. Imagine having a list of the highest placed Charterhouse old boys, and an email account with a scanned copy of the blasphemous page. One look at it would be enough. Overnight a thousand resets. Institutions, banks, businesses, government all rendered incapable of action by one single solitary picture.
What would you do?
Tell the truth and risk everything? Or lie, and pray that no one else ever figures this thing out.
What would you do?
Thursday, 15 November 2007
Monday, 12 November 2007
Switch 1.5 atmosphere

There's a place deep on the west side, past the gaudy display and tourist traps of the 'old city', where the real old city still dwells. Tourists always go there to experience life as it was during war years. They needn't have bothered. Just find an open sewer and jump in. That's the atmosphere of the real west side. Then shoot yourself in the head for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
That's the real skinny, none of this 'Plutonium spirit ' with grubby faced urchins sharing Geiger counters and breathing filters as they skip their way to the school they set up underground.
In a lot of ways things haven't moved on for a lot of people since those times. The slums are still there, silently broadcasting back all the radiation they absorbed into the next generation of grubby faced urchins, or 'bastards' as I like to call them.
The slums are where most of vices jobs are, occasionally they'll call my boys in. Some john gets whacked and we're expected to do the hard stuff, like try and explain to his wife and kids what he was doing in that part of town. And that time of night. Without his pants.
One of the most depressing jobs in the world must be that of the youth justice officer. He sees the same kids week in-out getting in trouble from breaking and entering and getting pissed on synth cider at eleven in the morning. And he knows. He knows no matter what he does the same kids will be there the next week all the way up to the time they're not his to deal with anymore and they get sent away to the real jail. Where they learn all the rest of the skills they need for their continuing life of crime. It may be tough at the top but its tough enough to make diamonds at the bottom.
So stop me if you've heard this one before.
Man goes into a bar. He has a drink. He has another one, He asks the bartender where he could find some company. The bartender points out a clearly underage girl sitting at a booth on her own. The man, shocked walks away and calls the police.
Oh, you haven't heard that one before? Thats because it never fucking happens. The man doesn't call the police. He doesn't walk away. He's not even shocked anymore. He goes over and asks her how much. No pre-amble. No small talk. Straight to business there's no love in this.
So she nods her head to the bathrooms. They walk over and finish their transaction.
Except when he walks into the bathroom its not the sexual release he's getting. It's me. With a pair of cuffs and anger in my eyes. Which I know might turn some of you on. But not this guy.
All he wanted was a way to relax in a strange city and instead he's looking at 5-10 years and a record as a sex offender.
This might count as a victory on the crime statistics but honestly who won? We didn't.
The juvie hooker we're using as bait? I know for a fact as soon as this stings over she'll find another bar and this for real there. There's too much money to be made from fat horny suits for her not to.
If its a choice between dignity and eating well, if you've ever been there you'll know its no choice at all.
These guys pay for 5 minutes or an hour of intimacy and what they get is cold hard sex. All sharp corners and no emotion just lust. Or if hes really unlucky one of those antibiotic resistant venereal diseases. That's something to try and explain to your wife isn't it?
the freaks come out.

Why did no-one tell me that this Monday was international freak day. My regular supermarket is fairly bland, inoffensive and purposly designed as such. When you're picking up nappies and bleach you don't want inovation or novel experienec you just want to get your pruchases and get the hell out of dodge.
Well not tonight buster cause tonight they're the consumers and you're the 20% extra offer.
Everyone, including the serving staff seemed to be so distracted that they appeared to be communicating with the mother-ship. A man who was clearly over the European Standard for the number of elbows per person barged me out of the way at the chiller to get at the soya-milk. Soya-milk. Not diamonds, not gold edged turds or comemerative teacosies of the late Saint Diana. Soya-milk.
I think that guy needed some perspective. And deodorant.
My problems didn't end there. At the checkout I was acosted by a man I've never met and regaled with his entire life story. Now if you're scott of the antarctic or Captain Cook I think your story would make quiet interesting listening. Although if you're from Huddersfield and moved to Wales 20 years ago and are still picking on the little differences between the two, I think you need a hobby. Or several.
Sorry, had a weird couple of days and very little makes sense at the moment. A rant is often the best way to clear the decks as it were.
Fiction soon.
Saturday, 10 November 2007
ow ow ow ow ow!
It was actually quite peacefull for the first ten mins. Too early for traffic too late for the pissheads very chilling.
And then my body woke up, realised what my head was making it do and responded with cramps! Hence the title.
2nd draft of switch is nearly done. Ill post it once it passes muster with the editor.
into rhyl now and then a Heros catchup weekend at Andys!
Woo!
Friday, 9 November 2007
evening.
First of all I should explain at my previous job the hours were much stricter but the internet policy was looser meaning that although I had to stay at my desk until 5:30 everyday I could basically spend the last ten minutes of the day updated the blog.
Now I can't so i actually have to come home from staring at the computer in work all day and physically turn on my home Mac to update.
Now I don't know about you guys but when I get home the last thing I want to do is turn on the computer! anyway, what this policy ahs meant is that my actual writing has had a lot more time spent on it at lunchtimes and such as theres no net access. which is great, I've had some quite reasonable ideas recently and it was great to give them the time they deserved!
Well whats been going on. Urm I've made a new batch of Beer which'll be ready in time for fake xmas (A Taylor family tradition), Ems made more bread and cakes than is probably decent, halloween went with not one trick or treater(never mind, more candy for me), been watching more and more rugby (hoorah) and some aussie rules football(impressive). Works great. Home life is perfect and I'm readlly happy with my fiction.
Life (as Tim burgess had it) is Sweet.
Laters
Rob
Wednesday, 7 November 2007
no updates?
I know ive been neglecting you but ive been using my blog time to finish the next part of switch. Almost done.
write soon
love rob.
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