Saturday, 2 June 2007

Travelblog: To be read in the style of Hunter S. Thompson. R.I.P.


The train was jammed full of people. "Let me through dammit! I'm a doctor ferchristssakes!" I raged at the hordes of staggering morons choking the passageways. The half full bottle of 100 proof rum i was waving around let them know I was serious.

"Fisher! Overhere!" my companion had shucked two Portugese out of their gainfully aquired seats and we settled in opposite an old couple. They were holding hands in a tight but definite manner drawing strength from each other to deal with the horrifying madness that confronted them across their previously peaceful table.

Carefull words were called for. A set of calm assuring principles were needed to aswade their fears and to stop them involving the police. It was going to be a long enough journey without dealing with those sonsofbitches.

"My companion," I began "is the crown prince of a country I should not name. He is traveling incognito due to several specifically detailed death threats against his person."

Their terrified glances told me the conversation was slipping away from me.

"Listen!" I shouted, slamming the table with my fist "This is serious! This man requires constant medical attention! I am here as his personal physician to attend to his delusions and chronic bedwetting. You're perfectly safe with me."

"Yes," added my companion taking a big snort from the bag of whiteish powder hed dumped on the table,"we're not like the others."

"Damn it!" I exclaimed to him watching their hastily retreating backs" They've gone to get the police you know!"
"Why?" he replied pointing at the bag "I did offer them a straw."

I put the newspaper over my head and made snoring noises hoping the fuzz would think I was traveling alone.

The train roared on into the night.

Friday, 1 June 2007

Stephen fry and discrimination


In wasn't going to post again today but I'm afraid events today have forced my hand.
 
The discussion as it ever does at work turned to television and one of the older ladies I work with exclaimed her joy at 'Kingdom' which is a Steven Fry mild comedy on ITV with just enough of a dose of 'The Weird' to keep it interesting. Fry's a lawyer that helps people out with odd legal problems each episode like the littlest hobo in a Saville Row suit.
 
However after praising the series to the heavens she then unleashed a barrage against Steven Fry and his 'choice' of lifestyle.
 
The stream of vindictive hate from the mouth of someone usually so calm forgiving and placid was so foul it made me think he had personally offended her. It turns out she's simply a screaming homophobe.
 
Now is it right that people just smile and leave her to her little ways because she's just too old to know any better? Is it right I smouldered in quiet fury but ultimately said and did nothing?
 
No.
 
She should be confronted and told that her prejudices are unwarranted and unwelcome. It was the first time I realised that I do still live in a quiet backwater where 'The Gays' are treated as an alien invasion force corrupting our youth in their bizarre rituals rather than just normal humans.

Weekend

Away for the weekend.
 
Taking sliced thumb with me.
 
Expect updates and pain. Great pain.

Wednesday, 30 May 2007

unlucky.

Isn't it ironic? As soon as you sharpen your knife you're bound to slice your thumb open?

Ouch. Typing is not easy at the moment so I'll have to keep this brief.

Good weekend with Friends up in Llangollen who are getting married before us so we had the marriage chat on an equal footing which was nice. Watched Patriot Games, There's a reason that film is seen as a classic, had a curry and chilled, barbeque on the sunday in the pouring rain which was always fun.

Oh in friday we got the bongos out and hooked them up to the Wii which was just too much fun.

Anyway more later no doubt.

Tuesday, 29 May 2007

Travelblog:McDs


They've finally refitted the McDonalds in town. After twenty something years the crap faux nautical theme has been replaced by a dark green/midgreen/deep orange combo. Its achingly hip for those whose ideas of hip is a retro seventies design and sixties style chairs. In fact i was surprised not to see beanbags in the corner.

What's always struck me about places like this is they look great, but only without people in them.

As soon as actual humans, with their clashing colours and irregular curves enter into this pristine space the effect is ruined. These designs are there to be photographed and admired, not lived in.

The food is, of course, staggeringly mediocre. Like an impersonation of tasty without actually being so.

I wouldn't actually be here if i didn't need to be in town and nowhere else was open. But I seem to use that excuse a little too regularly!

Friday, 25 May 2007

Notes From...


I don't know what this obsession I had with cramming as many words into a sentence as I could. I think I was trying to over compensate in some way as if sentences aren't sentences without three separate propositions in them.
 
I needed to learn simple sentences are good.
 
Like that one.
 
Our own contempt for the familiar is a recurring theme in my life. It takes something special to drag us out of the norm and see a familiar thing in a fresh light.
 
 
 
The 'rainbows' quote is actually what someone said to me after I met a random girl in a random bar. I never saw her again but the phrase really stuck with me.
 
 

Notes from the road 9



Chapter 9
 

Dog sensed it before the rest of us, with his enhanced damp nose working overtime as we rose higher and higher into the mountains on the outskirts of the desert we had just crossed. He rose from being curled up on the seat to full attention in a second and started sweeping his tail in excitement, paws up on the dashboard.
 
"What's wrong ?" I asked as Madison tried to stop his tail from sweeping her face.
"Don't know. Something's got him interested though," She replied pulling dog down onto the seat to try and calm him.
 
As we crested the hill my breath caught in my throat, beneath us the valley stretched below us crammed with the deepest most verdant greenery I had ever seen. We had been encountering sparse vegetation for the last few miles whilst climbing this mountain but nothing compared to the lush landscape laid out before us.
 
Bran pulled over and we all piled out to gaze down at the scenery below. The trees covered every surface with just the thin trace lines of a road here and there like black trace work on a green sheet of muslin. The sun was shining down and aside from the occasional car shooting past we had the view all to ourselves.
 
"Do you think they know what they're missing?" said Madison, one nut-brown arm draped languidly across her eyes. She and I were perched up on the bonnet of the truck lying against the hot windscreen.
 
I looked around us at the totally unoccupied space. "Who?"
 
"These people," The arm waved vaguely in the direction of the road upon which the cars roared past that we had turned off. "Driving past this amazing view without even slowing down to look twice. Like it doesn't matter. Like its not important."
 
"Over familiarity breeds contempt," Bran said standing with his broad back to us, keeping an eye on the over excited Dog who was racing around the flat space clearly glad to be out of the confines of the car and having different scents to chase after.
 
She lowered her sunglasses at him.
 
"Hunh?"
 
I took a deep breath. "What I believe my monosyllabic friend means is that if you see this kind of beauty everyday you have to become immured to it. Otherwise it would be as stunning as it is to us right now and you'd never have the time to do anything except gawp."
 
"Hmmm," She raised her sunglasses " So you wouldn't want to stop and smell the roses if that was the only scent you encountered everyday. Even true beauty would loose its pallor."
 
"Crazy fools," I said, stretching against the warmth of the sun on metal "There are some things of beauty I could never grow tired of ."
 
"Anyone particular in mind?" She asked teasingly, a bright flash of a smile lighting her face.
 
"Could be," I mused pretending to consider it. " Could be."
 
She punched me playfully in the arm and slid off of the bonnet to chase around with Dog.
 
Bran looked at me searchingly while she found a stick in the dirt and threw it.
 
"What?"
 
His heavy expression never changed.
 
"I see rainbows between you two," and without waiting to justify himself he turned back to the dog-versus-woman tug of war over the stick.
 
-------------------------------------------
 

We drove into the valley after the sun had set and the chill air had surrounded us again. I was still musing over Bran's perceptiveness when we he decided to pull into a Motel for the night.
 

Thursday, 24 May 2007

Travelblog : Keith Hannon RIP


Today is the years aniversary of one of my work colleagues death.

He was someone I spent every working day with for two years but i never got really close to. We had endless conversations about league versus union and he knew EVERYTHING about Hull RFC.

He literally dropped dead in front of me 365 days ago and his death was real and imedeate in a way all my previous experiences were not.

I miss his mannerisms his sayings and his proffesionalism.

So we're here on the beach eating burgers and raising a glass to a man we all wish we'd got to know better.

Rest in peace Keith, wherever you are I know the Hull faithfull are singing.

Tuesday, 22 May 2007

bleurgh

Was really really ill on Sunday for no readily apparent reason and am still feeling rather dodgy even now. In times of stress or pain I turn into an uber-geek so if you actually have a social life you may wish to skip the rest of the post.

I'm sure everyone and his dog has now seen THIS but it still got me pretty excited. I love the idea of doing the Joker in a totally different direction. No-one can out Nicholson Nicholson, even if you've based your whole career on it.

Slater! I'm looking at you!

Having a Joker that's part Bansky part Mark Thomas and part Ted Bundy I think is a stroke of genius and can't wait to see what Chris 'Memento' Nolan comes up with.

In other news I have resurrected my old laptop purely in order to play this game. Its a ten year old Xcom clone set in the Warhammer universe and I simply love it. There are better games there are more involving games but this one simply takes the picnic for me.

I've made a pact with myself not to buy any books, DVDS, games or any of the other ephemera that I fill my life with until after the wedding and as such I've actually been replaying/ rereading /relistening to stuff that I wouldn't have otherwise bothered with.

Its quite weird how much STUFF we simply seem to accumulate without really realising it. I need a purge I think.

Saturday, 19 May 2007

remakes of movies.



I am about to swear so let me make this perfectly clear;

F**K the remake of The Long good friday. That movie is totally perfect as it is. Bob Hoskins is awesome as the mob boss losing his hold and losing his grip on the empire he founded. His measured performance as he sees his life disappear before him is one of British cinemas crowning achievements.

The film that needs a remake is 'Pump up the Volume. Starring Christian Slater as an illegal shock Jock on his own homebrew radio station it still gives me chills, in a good way.

Its talks about the freedom of speech and the right of teenagers to get screwed up and say what they actually mean not what they are expected to say by the rest of society.

In this age when anyone anywhere can publish whatever they want and broadcast whatever they feel on the interweb isn't it time for a net generation version of this movie? A rallying call for saying how you actually feel and how life is actually a lot more sucky than TV would have you belive.

Start the petition today!

Man Utd 0 Chelsea 1


And THAT is why I stopped watching football.

I've never needed a nap more in my life including the baseball game I had to sit through.

I couldn't actually of cared less who won just as long as it ended and soon!

Anyway, the beer and cooked meat compensated at least a little bit.

But not much.

The Crimea


THE CRIMEA FREE ALBUM

May I recommend the above as they do have some fairly good tunes and they are the first well established band to release their album for free over the old inter-web-net.

Bombay Saphire Coma is particularly good track, Bombay Saphire being a brand of gin my brother actually introduced me to.

See?! There's themes and layers and sub-texts to this blog, its not all randomness and swearing!

Anyway download the album, support the New!

Happy Birthday Bro!


Happy birthday to you,
I went to the Zoo,
I saw a big monkey,
and thought it was you.

'Trad. playground anonymous'


Its my Big Bros birthday today, which as usual either coincides with exams or the FA cup final. In fact I distinctly remember when his birthday was on the Saturday of the cup final and he invited all his friends to our house for the traditional jelly and ice cream (I think we were about 8-ish) and he had set the TV room up so that all the fans of the two different teams sat opposite each other in a parody of the terraces. I'm happy to report there was no violence maybe just a smidgen of banter and a modicum of singing!

Most of my parents stories about us kids growing up revolve around Jane or I getting into trouble or managing to do exactly the wrong thing for the right reasons. Their stories about Phil are different but not in a bad way.

He had and has the most strongly developed sense of right and wrong that I think I've ever encountered. Think Cyclops from the xmen or Sturm from Dragonlance. Definatly not the worst example for a young kid with tendancies towards stupidity to grow up with.

So happy birthday big bro, may there be many more.




(Normal non-sentimental service will be resumed shortly.)

...And we're back


Hooray!

sorry for the recent lack of updates. I've ben busy as a beaver who hasn't filed has tax return OR rebuilt that damn dam, with work and when that all calmed down thursday time blogger decided it would very kindly only publish the title and labels for posts and not the main body of the text.

My inane ramblings of the past few days are lost forever!

And yet, somehow, we will learn to cope.

Went to pick Em up from a works do in the pub late yesterday evening. Its not often I walk into a pub after half eleven totally sober. Its a scary place, I don't know how you teetotalers do it. The bouncer opened the door and let me in with a look of either pity or distain I couldn't work out which and I plunged into the sweaty throng. The smoke may have gone but the strench of old beer and wasted friday night dreams still hangs heavy in the air which was puntucated by glares and stares of all sorts in my direction.

As I walked around I was jostled and barged around which is normally fine after a pint or two but it felt really personal last night. I found Ems table and stood their for a while but you know when everyone else is on one sort of vibe, happy and joking and you're totally oposite I could feel I was bringing them down so I belive the journalistic phrase is 'I made my excuses and left.'

Its always surprising how much of a mood alterer alchol is especially making you much more social than you would be under normal circumstances.

Anyways busy day today with the FA cup barbeque today. Don't get me wrong I don't particularly care about football but burgers and beer I can get passionate about.

more later

Tuesday, 15 May 2007

It's wee Jimmy Kranky!


Good weekend where I got the suit fitted for the wedding, I think shiny lime green with a pink shirt topped off with a zebra skin top hat and yellow pimp cane will really help me stand out.

Actually its a little less flouncy than that and I ruled out top hats as a) I look a twit in them b) I don't need any help in being tall.

So I got us all fitted up in about 15 mins and went for a pint in my old local. It was weird walking into a pub I haven't visited in about seven years and nothing had changed. The decor and smelly old men drinking were exactly the same. Only the barmaid had changed, same girl but now looking so much older. Is that how I look to people I haven't seen in years? that tired aged look around the eyes?

From there it went rapidly downhill to watching Eurovision on the couch supplied by good beer and cheap pizza.

Eurovision was kind of odd for me it was my first time watching the entire process from bottom clenchingly bad songs through the awkward stunted presenters attempts at humour and obscure and tortuous voting amalgamation process right out to the tearful acceptance speech and yet another performance of the 'winner'.

What surprises me the most though was not the crap entry from the Ukraine or Belarus but the useless UK entry.

We have a music scene which has brought up some of the greatest music of all time through the Beatles and stones right through to Lilly Allen and (Who else can I mention to sound contemporary?) Bloc Party.

Why is the best music we can produce for this contest be Scooch?

There was a rumour that Morrissey would enter this year and it set my little smiths-loving heart ablaze.

Morrissey genuinely couldn't give two stuffs what people think/thought of him and having that larcymose cynical knowing humour amongst the crap pop and soulless dirges of the other 23 finalists would have been a breath of fresh air.

And yes I am well aware that it wouldn't matter who was playing for the UK we'd still get shafted due to our involvement in Iraq or some other current spurious reason.

But for Morrissey you see it would be the latest in a long line of disappointments and heartbreaks. He'd smile, shuffle slowly off and write the most amazing song about how it felt.

Monday, 14 May 2007

End of Season.


No more rugby.

No more rushing home on a Friday to catch the highlights of the weeks games.

No more RBS podcasts listing the errors and woes of your team.

No more last minute penalties and desperate drives for the line.

No more dancing feet, up and unders or pressured scrums.

No more hero's no more villains.

No more chants, songs or hymns.

No more heart stopping moments or TV referrals.

No more questioning the lineage or vision of the ref.

(Until September, when the World Cup starts.)

Friday, 11 May 2007

Notes From...


I like the ideas in this one if the execution of those ideas falls below ideal tolerance levels.

I love the quest idea, the idea of being on the road for the express purpose of being on the road.

Weird stuff always happens when you travel even if at the time it seems really mundane. Strapping oneself into an aluminium tube to be flung across the globe is darn odd when you think about it. And the fact they try to supplant your deep-seated fear of bursting into flames at 30000 feet with a small bag of salted nuts is just surreal.

Driving cross country is the most romantic way to travel when the roads aren't clogged. I love driving on the small byways that are devoid of traffic and letting other vehicle pass by by pulling over and waiting until the road is empty again before continuing on. I'm a bit weird that way.


And the curse of the 'final sentence of shite' still rings true. Trying to round a piece off with a snippet or sound bite just makes it sound awful. Its only in recent fiction I've been able to finish fiction off in a reasonable way that doesn't cause me to physically gag when I read it back a week or a month later.

Thursday, 10 May 2007

Notes from the Road 8


Chapter 8


We kept heading straight north with the sun blinding us from the right hand sky in the morning and striking us dumb with its colours when setting in the left. I had never seen anything like it until I got out to the deep desert. There with such a wide horizon stretching around us the whole sky seemed to be burning in a sea of liquid fire.

It was late on at night but we were still motoring, looking for a cheap but clean motel. Several nights of camping out under the stars had convinced us that once in a while (but not too often) it was worth paying the meagre bill for a room in return for fresh sheets and a long soak in the tub. Not to mention my guilty pleasure of a little bad TV.

Dog, as we unimaginatively named him was in the back of the truck having stayed with us in spite of Bran's laconic objection.

"Don't like dogs."

"I always saw you as more of a cat man" I said unwrapping a fresh pack of smokes from the glove box.

"Don't like cats either."

Madison, sitting in the middle as always, turned to see dog lying in the middle of the flatbed as we roared along. He had spent most of his trip with us, head hanging over the side in the oncoming wind as dog are want to do.

"He must be cold out there, why can't he ride inside with us? There's plenty of room."

She moved her hips deliciously sideways into mine to create the dog sized space on the seat. Bran, unmoved, said nothing and glared ahead as if the tarmac was the source of his irritation. Madison moved slightly back away from me but not all the way.

I lit two smokes and passed one to Madison. We drove on in silence for a while, the roaring of the road like a gentle benediction on us. I didn't want the dog to come between us unless it meant Mad squeezing up to me again.

"It's not like we can take him back," I said. Bran glared at me. "Well okay, we could take him back but we'd have to go totally in the wrong direction, back on ourselves. Then find that kid and give him the dog back. and how do you know he won't chase after us again? He chose to join us. I think we should respect Dogs wishes."

"C'mon Bran. He's a real sweetheart." Chimed in Madison. "And he's taken a real shine to you."

This wasn't just idle flattery, Dog had decided that Bran was the alpha male in this little gathering and was treating him as his master even though Bran tried to have as little to do with him as possible.

We rounded a corner and in the dying light saw the road stretching out before us with no sign of habitation in the whole valley. Our dreams of a soft bed and hot bath that night died then and there.

"We'll sleep here tonight" Said Bran pulling off the side of the road in a little area surrounded by the bush.

"Great." I said "Another night of rice and beans. Just what I needed." Our supplies, whilst large in volume were somewhat lacking in variety

As we pulled to a stop Dog leapt over the back gate and ran around to the drivers side door to greet Bran as he exited the truck. He barked excitedly and Bran, as ever, ignored him whilst getting his bedroll from the back.

"You're not afraid of dogs are you?" Asked Madison reaching for her own pack.

Bran paused and gazed upon her with such intensity at what he regarded as a challenge to his manhood. If it had been anyone else apart from this striking tall blonde that dared to ask such a question I think we would have seen a different side of Bran. A darker, violent one that remains hidden most of the time but can surface in uncomfortable moments.

He studied her face, saw there was no insult intended and backed down placing his bedroll on the ground in a little clearing.

"No. I'm not afraid. I just don't trust animals that's all."

"Yeah." I added trying pathetically to lighten the mood "A hamster tried to scam me on a share deal once, wasn't pretty."

"I'll get some firewood." I said in response to their glares and started off up the hill, hearing Bran's heavy tread following me.

"I'll look after the truck then shall I?" Madison called after us whilst holding Dog back by his rope collar to stop him charging after Bran.

The air was very cold that night and temperature dropped even further whilst we both silently searched for firewood. I didn't want to intrude on my friends heavy thinking. I remembered how quickly he had made the decision to dump Pancho by the side of the road and hoped he wouldn't reach the same conclusion about Dog. If he abandoned the Dog then Madison would probably stay with the canine, I knew that much about her. And if Madison left, would I go too?

"I know what you're thinking. " He said. "You're wondering if I'm going to abandon the dog."

I was too startled to blurt out a denial as he continued.

"I wouldn't do that to anything or anyone that didn't deserve it. Pancho warranted it, he nearly killed us. The dog has yet to do me wrong but, mark me, it puts a paw wrong and it'll be on the road, alone, before you can blink. And if that means she goes too, well, so be it."

He turned on his heel, arms full of good burnable driftwood and headed back to the camp. I followed him silent our roles reversed for once he the verbose one and I the thoughtful brooding near mute. Could I abandon my travelling companion for the sake of a woman I barely knew? When it came to it, as I was sure it eventually would, how would I react? Could I choose loyalty over lust/love? I just didn't know.

We came back to find Madison and dog sitting in the truck listening to the radio. His head was on her lap and he perked up considerably when he saw Bran striding down the trail towards him.

Dog jumped out of the truck and walked at Bran's heels as he carried the firewood to the centre of the clearing. Dog stopped in mid tread, sniffing the air around him as his hackles rose like the cocking of a gun. He started to growl, a low roaring noise that sounded as if it should come from a much bigger animal.

"What's wrong boy?" Said Madison walking over from the truck but dogs attention was firmly fixed on Bran's back. Bran dropped the firewood and looked from looked from the Dog to me as if to say 'I told you so' as dog launched himself forward, fangs bared and
claws ready to rend and tear any opposition apart. I had never seen such a strong quick change from love to hate before in the animal kingdom. He had gone from loving Bran unconditionally to trying to eviscerate him in less than ten seconds. In fact if I didn't know better I'd say he was human.

Bran turned to try to catch dog in the air as the four legged fury roared towards and then past him landing with his snout firmly buried in Bran's bedroll. He stared to violently thrash the blanket around shaking the thing free of its strap revealing a rattlesnake which had embedded itself in the warmth of Bran's wrap. Bran had been standing directly between the dog and it prey. The three of us, hearts still racing from Dogs apparent treachery and the revealing of his true target, could only watch as the Dog and snake faced off against each other.

The snake hissed and rattled its telltale tail, darting out for Dog who with a nimbleness that surprised us all, snatched up the snake in his strong quick jaws behind its neck and flung the creature all around like a puppy with a chew toy until he was sure it was dead and dropped it at the stunned Bran's feet.

Bran bent down slowly and put his hand on Dogs head as if the action caused him physical pain.

"Good. Boy." he said as dogs tail thumped upon the ground.

"So I'm thinking, Motel tonight." Said Madison from her position cowering behind the truck. It was a harsh reminder that there are all sort of beasts in the wild and when you sleep in natures boudoir you can't expect to snooze alone.

-----

We drove on with Madison sleeping gently on my shoulder and Dogs head on Bran's knee. He looked at me and I at him and I knew that Dog would be with us until the end now, wherever and whenever that may be.

Wednesday, 9 May 2007

Paris Hilton and the Pink Mile.



Paris Hilton is very probably one of my least favourite people.

She represents all that is venal and superficial about people in general and celebrity in particular.

She not only delights in her shallowness and stupidity she positively revels in it making her own small fortune from her derivative line of clothes and perfumes.

It would be fair to say whilst I didn't exactly gloat when she was sentenced to forty five days in jail I wasn't actually thinking 'Poor dear, I hope she'll be alright.'

If you're caught driving drunk with a suspended license and then you violate the terms of your parole you are going to jail.

You've been given the chance to behave and then you break the rules again you are going to be punished for it.

(Of cause now I've got the words 'Paris Hilton' and 'Punishment' in the same post I'm going to get all the wrong sort of Google searches coming to this site!)

So when your friend starts an internet petition to get you off claiming that she 'She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives' you start to wonder if we just have totally lost it as a civilisation.

She HAS to be punished for this. Not because I dislike her intently but because the lesson that most people have to learn at some time or another is that when it comes your time you have to pay the piper.

Its not like she's going to be sent to Shawshank to scrub floors and share a cell with 'Big Marge' if Jeffery Archer can get through prison time in this country then she should be able to cope. . She'll be sent to a soft jail with someone paid to look after her and I wouldn't be surprised if she was kept totally separate from the general population. Her fame makes her an easy target and no one wants any harm to actually come to her.

Just tell her its a new edition of the Simple Life and follow her around with a camera crew. She'll be giving style tips and makeover to all the girls on B wing before you know it.

She may actually emerge from this experience a little bit humbler realising that she's been blessed not to have to live the life that forced the other inmates to be there.

Probably not though. Although her next perfume could be called 'Violation'.

Tuesday, 8 May 2007

weekend



Had a good bank holiday weekend in which I variously;

Put up a tent;
Attended a Christening where none of the God parents or in fact the parents normally go to church;
Drank an okay bottle of white and a superb bottle of red wine (not on the same night);
Feel asleep not once, not twice but three times during three separate games of televised snooker;
Fired a fully automatic air rifle replica of an M16 at some pesky cans;
Dusted and hoovered (ain't I domesticated?)
Walked around Denbighshire's latest waste of cash, The west end Drift park (nothing to do with drifting cars I'm afraid)
Had chips and gravy for two separate lunches;
Made the worlds finest spaghetti bolognaise;
Read about 5 years continuity of Xmen comics (my secret weakness);
But most importantly...

FINISHED MY ESSAY!


So there should be no more posting about how crap essays and work are as its over. At least until I get my results in a few weeks.

How was yours?

Friday, 4 May 2007

Smoking and Imbecility


So, the smoking ban has hit Wales and already the pubs are much more pleasant places to be. Smokers cluster together outside enjoying the sunshine, us non smokers gather together in the rarified atmosphere and enjoy the free and easy use of our lungs.

As an ex-smoker I've always tried not to become one of those evangelical reformists who, having turned from the dark side, feels the need to spread the good word.

Mainly because they're all bastards.

Smoking is a real addiction and giving up is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

I'm afraid, non-smokers, that tutting and shaking your head thing? only firms the resolve of the smoker to continue smoking. It's not a habit, it's a physical and mental compulsion that must be fought and overcome. With all the good will in the world, fake coughing and wagging your finger isn't going to make anyone stop smoking.

Well, They might stop long enough to put their cigarette out in your eye but they'll light another one up afterwards.

Which is why when someone you work closely with makes a concerted effort and gives up for a month you feel proud of them because you know how hard that first month was.

However when they subsequently start again after having broken the addiction, because they 'put on a few pounds' you feel like slapping them.

Lung cancer or bigger pants? You would have though it was an easy choice.

So I recommended she try heroin as you've never seen a fat skaghead have you? Pete Dougherty looks skinny on his crack pipe diet (Although he does have a couple of skittles every other week,) maybe she should try that.

Scary what people can talk themselves into to avoid something they don't really want to do.

Wednesday, 2 May 2007

Sunny Day


Yet another gorgeous day here in Rhyl. A couple more like this and we'll actually be allowed to keep the tag 'Sunny' Rhyl. 'Scummy' Rhyl is more appropriate but I'll leave that for another day.

I keep getting these odd whiffs of random smells that are triggering off the old memory banks. One is the smell of the Bar I worked in when I lived in Liverpool. It's some particular type of cleaner they used to get the Stella/cocktail crap off the floors at the end of the night mixed in with old beer and cheap ciggies.

I was going to send you to the home page but it's a flash monstrosity that I think is best avoided.

Why I can smell that particular smell today is totally beyond me but it is a reminder of happy days making cocktails, flirting with the customers and staying afterhours for a few bevvies ourselves.

We stayed up one saturday to watch the late night boxing and I drank so much I woke up in Milton Keynes Train Station. Apparantly I'd got it into my head to see a girl I knew in Bath and no-one at the bar could stop me or rather could be bothered to.

Anyways lots of characters lots of fun and a fair amount of drinking, thats what a bar job should be about!

Tuesday, 1 May 2007

Hmmm


Right. Which bastard decided that May the first would be the most beautiful day in the history of mankind? Why is the sun shining when I'm stuck in a room away from the sun bathing in the cold glow of the VDU whilst the rest of the world is buying ice creams and wearing ill advised speedos on the beach? Why is the Gordian knot of a question I'm trying to write an essay answer to, wriggling away from me with the lithe rapidity of a young snake? Why am I blogging AGAIN when I should be answering the goddamn essay question?

Actually thats easy, I've just had a five minute break to go outside and curse those fortunate enough to have nothing to do today and bloggin helps get the fingers typing in the right direction.

Enjoy the day.

Day off - sort of.


Work have been kind enough to give me a study day for this course that is sapping the lifeblood from my veins. When I finish the damn thing I'll be like a wrinkled old prune, brought old by the sheer weight of inanity that is held with the course structure. If I pass I'll be quite happy though.

So I'm home. And over the course of the next 8 hours I have to polish the steaming turd that is my essay in its current form into a glistening golden answer, taut muscle rippling beneath its gleaming..... Sorry. Seem to have lost track there for a second.

But yeah, I'll be here all day trying desperately not to get distracted by the thousand and one fascinating things I've left lying about the house like landmines of interesting just waiting to go off and drag my attention away.

Sunday, 29 April 2007

Notes from....


It was odd to actually travel across America and actually see these places I written about two years before. Most of them were closed down but occasionaly you'd see a little store that maybe sold gas and it would just be a shack with nothing around it but desert for miles and miles. As you can imagine most of the stops are franchises now with the same level of plastic quality and dead eyed customer service you can get anywhere in the States but occasionally you would find a pearl.

I'm quite happy with the actual writing in this as well. I think the boy's a bit of a characture but as he has about two lines I think I can let that one go.

I had the idea of introducing all these weird characters together and having them traveling together like some kind of roaming circus/freakshow. When the list of essential characters passed fourteen it was time to scale it back. Although I have used some of those people in other things.

And one day the earth will tremble at the terrible tales of Jim Phrophet, Stoned Jones and Clearly Evil.

Squarepusher Verus NES


I know only about two people are going to appreciate this but it's the Squarepusher Theme done using a NES soundchip and it actually sounds great.

Everyone else that isn't particularly geeky or that doesn't enjoy the glitch techno is excused for the day. Go and run around in the sunshine or something.

Saturday, 28 April 2007

travelblog: moment of zen in Bodfari


Theres nothing like driving a great empty road in the blazing sun and then the perfect song comes on the radio. My heart just soars.

(Song: 7/4 shoreline by broken social scene, road: Mold to Denbigh around Bodfari where the road starts to rise into the hills.)

Thursday, 26 April 2007

Notes from the Road 7


Madison finished her drink with a contented sigh and, drawing her knees up under her chin, a delicate burp. We were sitting on the roadside with our backs against the wooden shack we'd bought the sodas from. The day was hot as ever and we'd taken the opportunity to get a little shelter and drink whilst Bran took care of refilling and restocking the truck which had conked out on us just as we were pulling into the town.  He was buried under the hood checking switches and levels trying to trace the source of the thick black smoke that had accompanied our unexpected stop. Not being of a mechanical mind he could have been casting eldritch spells over the parts for all I knew. Refilling the virgins blood tank and checking the chickens feet where angled perfectly about the distributor, trying to exorcise the engine of its unclean spirits like some kind of voodoo mechanic .
 
The place we were stopped was so small it didn't even have a name, just a gas station cum garage cum general store which was surrounded on all sides by the ubiquitous orange brown sand.  There were a collection of houses scattered around as if they had been dropped from a giant child's play set and randomly distributed according to some pattern indiscernible by mere mortal man.
 
We were heading North again but it would be many days and several hundred miles before we hit the mountains and lush forests of the midlands which Madison had expressed a deep desire to see and as it didn't clash with our 'wanky' aims we were quite happy to accede, in my case if only to keep travelling and talking with her.
 
Not that I was growing tired of Bran, it would take a lot of effort for his calm taciturn demeanour to annoy me. But it was a nice change to have someone to verbally spar with who could keep up with wild improvisations and bizarre trains of thought that for some would be totally off track. Also she was proving more inspiration than I could ever imagine. I'd filled up a whole hardback notepad since meeting her in that diner purely with thoughts and observations about her.
 
I put down my finished bottle looked up and saw her smiling at me and I started to smile back before I realised she was actually grinning at something just over my left shoulder. As I started to turn to see what had caused her grin I felt this horrible wet licking sensation about my ear and leapt up with a shout.
 
There at my feet not a bit offended by my loud oblivious revulsion was a brown and white dog of indeterminate breed and questionable parentage looking up at me, tongue lolling, like I was the canine Messiah. Madison found all this hilarious of course and even Bran had turned from his oily surgery to see what the fuss was about.
 
Looking up from the dog I was confronted by a small boy no more than 8 or 9 staring at us in the unselfconscious way that children have. He had strong black hair and was dressed in sneakers and jeans with a patina of the red dirt hard-scuffed into them.
 
"I think he likes you mister." Called out the boy. "He doesn't normally take to strangers."
"He's obviously got good taste," replied Madison "What's he called?"
"He doesn't have one, we mostly just call him dog." He said pronouncing it like a cowboy would with an A and W where the O should be. "He's for sale if you want to buy him, he's a great house dog."
 
Madison and I shared a look.
 
"None of us actually have a house," I replied "Although I'm sure he's a really good dog"
 
On hearing the words 'Good Dog', Dog, who had been sniffling around my ankles, looked up and started to wag his tail. He looked like he couldn't have hurt a fly even if he wanted to.
 
"You don't have a house?" He looked incredulous and it suddenly hit me how it must be to live here with so few people. Growing up never seeing beyond the boundaries of this little valley not experiencing anything outside of this small hamlet. It was too claustrophobic for words. This little guy had always lived here I imagined and wouldn't miss the wider world as he'd never really experienced it.
 
There was a bang from behind us and as I turned the truck belched its way into black smoked life. Dog jumped back and ran around the building in fright.
 
"Great guard dog," I thought as Bran leant out from behind the wheel.
 
"Trucks ready. Lets go." he shouted over the rasping resurrected engine.
 
"Thanks kid. See you around!" Madison said as she and I piled into the front cab next to Bran and he pulled away through the dust. The last we saw of the kid he was still waving to us through a big plume of dust.
 
We didn't discover our furry stowaway until we stopped for the night.

Wednesday, 25 April 2007

New News that's the Newsiest ever!

News is subjective. Things that I might consider vitally important and urgently interesting you might dismiss as dull or trite. That's how we can have both New Scientist and Heat on our news stands. You pays your money you get the news of your choice.
 

However when it comes to the TV news you are subjected to editorial approval, someone else choosing what news pieces are vital and what can be put by the wayside.
 
 I can only imagine the Meeting at the BBC TV news station this morning.
 
 
 
"Fairly dull day today. What shall we have as our headline news today?"
 
"Well, astronomers have found an earth-type planet which is the first that has the right constant temperature to have liquid water which is essential for life as we understand it. Even if there's no intelligent life on the planet now it could be fully capable of supporting human life in the future and might even prove a refuge should we continue using up our resources at the terrifying rate we are. The earth is no longer alone in the universe and it might even prove that humanity isn't either."
 
"Sounds great, prep everything for...hang on have you seen Brittany's new stomach?! Now that's a lead story! Chuck all of this scientific captain planet crap and get a plastic surgeon in for an interview. Get a dietician in as well in case she's on some new regime."
 
 
 
 
 
It's days like today I'm so glad my TV news career never got off the ground.
 
 

Tuesday, 24 April 2007

Mob Blog: Mall-icious


So I'm in town early today to get my eyes checked. My opticians is in part of a small mall in the town centre. I go into the open mall to find all the store shutters down and this weird ambient music playing. The only souls around are the living retired and my life is starting to feel like a George Romero flick.
If the next time you see me I have a greenish tinge to my flesh, I'm muttering about brains and I seem to be a lot more 'bitey' than usual, I would recommend shooting me in the face.

Or it could just be the flu.

Monday, 23 April 2007

Enjoy the silence


I had to take an exam today.

It wasn't a proper 'Oh my god my entire future rests upon what happens in the next 3 hours!' exam but it was taken seriously. We were all shut up in a room and given a test paper and instructions not to talk.

And I found it peaceful. Relaxing even.

For the first time in weeks there was utter silence around me. No phone calls or shouts for my attention or even people greeting each other in the corridor. It was totally silent except for the scratching of pencil on paper and finger on forehead.

To be fair though I'm kind of immune to exam stress. Anyone that's done a exam based degree will tell you nothing frightens you after doing two four hour exams in one day. I think I went through two Bic pens that day!

After our final final I met my friends on the steps of the hall and we drank cheap champagne and smoked big fat cigars walking up the street towards the bar and the rest of our lives. The photos of the afternoon and resultant night still bring a smile to my face. It may have been seven years (God, has it been 7 already?) but I still smile when I think about it.

The exam was okay today but I had to celebrate by having a nice cup of tea. How the mighty have fallen.

Sunday, 22 April 2007

The noble art of distraction.


Right now Everything is interesting to me. Daytime TV, books I haven't picked up in years even DIY has caught my interest. Everything except this essay for my work qualification I'm working on.

Right now I'd rather watch the Jeremy Kyle show than put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard). It's this art of distraction than my brain plays on me every time I have to do something important. Boo.

It doesn't help that I've got the new series of Battlestar Galactica downstairs ready to watch on DVD. That's not the orginal space opera saga pudding from the eighties but the brand new Dark dark dark series about pain and loss. It charts the war between man and machine and how choices are always hard, there's no black and white, only shades of grime.

Galactica is a perfect example of how to take an old series and breath new life into it, theres no velvet romper suits or cute robot dogs in this one, although if there was a robot dog he'd have a dark back story and have to drink heavily to help him forget some past sin that's never been resolved in his mind. Like the day the stick chased him.

The Cylons are great in it as well. Instead of being blokes in tinfoil suits they're all computer animated and have this loping unhuman movement which makes you really uneasy before you even get started with the minigun in the forearm.

Damn it! Now my Blog's distracting me! Right that's it. Back to work.






Oooh shiny...



.

Friday, 20 April 2007

Weekend over before it begins.


Stupid busy at work, and now my entire weekend has been swallowed up with 'stuff-to-do'.
 
Half of its work stuff Revision, meetings etc and the other half is family stuff and hanging out with friends.
 
Now I know how moaning this sounds, believe me I've been on the receiving end of long lonely weekends which I would give anything to be over to get back to the exciting world of work, but right now all I want to do is curl up on the couch with my current book, a glass of something poncy and some soothing tunes on the stereo. And not move for at least 24 hours.
 
Darn my sociability!

Thursday, 19 April 2007

Charity Sucks.


Let me be more specific.
 
Collecting for charity in an office sucks.
 
I don't care how worthy the cause is I am not interested in winning a bottle of poly-malt whisky. Especially as it has been 'donated' by the person that won it in our last charity push.
 
I don't care about your fun quizzes or wacky face painting. I especially don't want to donate money to watch one of the few actual men in here be emasculated by you pulling out his leg hairs with wax.
 
If I give you money towards your cause do you promise to leave me alone? Because that would be worth collecting for.

Wednesday, 18 April 2007

Exhibit A


Photos now available of our Madrid trawls on FLICKR.

I'll add the descriptions when I get five minutes. To be honest I'm meant to be doing some coursework on Friday night but I'll probably make some excuse to myself and update them then. Kind of disilliusioned with the whole thing after failing by a measley 2%.

I mean WHO fails someone by 2%? WHO? Did I do something to offend the person in question? Have I in a previous life run over her pooch or something? Is this punishment from above?

Yeah.

I know its stupid.

Just needed to get it out of my system.

Better now.

And so to bed!

Tuesday, 17 April 2007

Back in black


You know sometimes things happen to you that shake you up a bit.

We all have a well ordered sense of how the world works and when you start getting on a bit you think you know your place within it. How it all fits together and where you belong in that picture.

Then you get something that makes you totally question not only the order of things but the things themselves.

I'm talking about the 3AM darkness, a sense of quiet panic that can totally swallow your soul. The gazing into the abyss, unable to sleep due to the shouting in your head that makes you wonder about everything.

But then at that time when things are at their blackest, if you're lucky like me, there'll be an angel dreaming next to you. Someone who is your strength and your compass.



Someone to be for.

Monday, 16 April 2007

Travelblog:Last night.

Last night was our last night and we celebrated in style.

First we found an Irish bar with an actual Irishman in it and persuaded him that the two spaniards and a dog in the bar weren't interested in the Wigan v Tottenham match and could he please put the Rugby cup final on.

Five pints and one fantastically close game later we got some food bought some takeout beer and headed to the park.

Theres a huge monument in park de retiro which looks over the lake and we were told to 'be there when the sun goes down'.

Following these rather cryptic instruction we entered throu the enormous park gate and heard a hellish, frenzied drumming the like of which I can only describe as being akin to those last heard in Helms Deep.

There were 40-50 drummers and at least 200 people drinking and dancing. We were the only tourists there and we soon mingled in.

It was one hell of a way to say goodbye to a city that loves me right back.

Time to catch a flight.

Sunday, 15 April 2007

travelblog:irish bars

Irish bars are the new fungus. They are everywere and you know what you're going to get.

the craic is normally supplied by the beer and the company and with the number of irish expats its always availible.

watching rugby in an irish bar always separates the fans from the wannabes. Its such a complex game even the players get confused. So when someone you dont know correctly calls for a knock on, you know you're in good company.

The barmen inevetiably know the right places to go onto after and if you're really lucky their shift finishes in ten minutes and they were planning on going there themselves after!

My last night in Madrid, and it may be my most memorable and the one I remeber the least about.

Travelblog:El Rastro

El Rastro is a great Madrid Sunday morning tradition. After the late night excesses of saturday the people of this city love nothing better than to browse the stalls of El Rastro market.

Half of it is your standard sloganed tshirt and tat stalls. The other half is weird antiques and strange fashions that u cant imagine anyone buying.

Its so popular with locals and tourists alike that its developed its own style of walking. The Rastro strut is one where you slowly stroll with both hands jammed in your front pockets protecting your valuables from the numerous pickpockets.

Saturday, 14 April 2007

drunk travellog: random snipets

Ankle length black leather skirt on a boy as pale as snow.

"Bobble bobble."

"Hi mum, meet Cindy!"

"thats every mans fantasy, park and ride!"

a busy bar with four people in it.

Rob chocolate.

animated toilet.

"taxi? My arse!"

a well dressed middle aged man, drunk, shouting "Lost!" at the top of his lungs at the pretty girls of the madrid midnight metro.

two lovers meeting on the steps of the square and being so taken with each other, for them, no-one else exsists.

Friday, 13 April 2007

Drunk travellog : mojitos in Chueca

Note to self. Don't order cocktails on the patio of a poncy Cafe when slightly inebriated without first checking the price.

At least not if you feel like putting your kids through college.

subways is subways

Subways are subways the world over. They are the great levelers in citys where the gap between rich and poor is greatest. The perfumed and the Prada-ed have to rub shoulders with those of us unfourtunate enough to reek of sick and special brew. Which is not me I hasten to add! Unless its a particularly good thursday.

Went on the metro/subway to see the home of Real Madrid. All i can say is they must get through some brasso with all their trophies. The pitch, stadium even their dressing room is impressive espically the three storey shop.

You can buy almost anything there from replica strips throu Real Madrid teddys on to models of the actual players. Almost anything, as you cant actually buy match tickets at the ground.

So they build you up about what a great side and how fantastic they are and then, "Tickets?" in the same manner you might say "Faeces?".

Thursday, 12 April 2007

travel blog: an adendum and an admission

These entries arent well constructed, arent very interesting and probably arent fun to read. Lets not even mention spelling or grammar!

I make wild claims, dont finish arguments properly and never ever supply evidence.

I also tend to cover old ground talking about the same things but i dont care.

These entries are meant to be gonzo in the real sense of the word. They are meant to be read as written with no corrections, no editing and no apologies.

I'm sitting in a portogese bar in the middle of madrid with hams the size of tree trunks swinging in the breeze in front of me. Everyone else is seista-ing back at the hotel.

I used to hate being on my own but I have learnt to relish it, espically in a strange country where the language is a gorgeous mystery. You are forced to rely on strangers to help you out with buying stuff which can be embarassing but the sense of freedom that comes with the knowledge you can cope is priceless!

travel blog: timings

Normally it'll be the jet lag that gets to you making you feel totally on adifferent wavelength from those around you. In madrid its meal lag.

After days of good tapas we decided to have a good full meal. Not a problem madrid is full of good resturants. However we made the mistake of going for dinner at dinner time, about half six.

We may as well have been asking the waiters for deep fried elephant foreskin.

"we dont start serving dinner till 8," was the universal reply," would you like some tapas instead?"

Hemmingway said Madrillenos dont go to bed until they have 'killed the night'. I was surprised to find it was true. Not only for food but also they wouldnt dream of going to bed before dawn.

We dont expect such a similar culture to ours to have such different customs when it comes to timings to eat and sleep.

Wednesday, 11 April 2007

Travel blog: Tapas is the way of the future.

The theory of Tapas is simple, little and often. You have a drink and some cheese or bread with olive oil then move to the next bar and have some good ham with a beer. Then next bar a fino sherry with some olives. Ad infinitum, ad non infinitum.

The maderillos would never think of sitting in one place downing ten pints and then having a kebab. The restless latin spirit keeps them moving and suits the bar hopping lifestyle perfectly.

Its great for us tourists as well as it gives us a chance to sample loads of bars without getting slautered. Having the tapas with every drink means you never get really sloshed. The happy phase of drinking continues for hours!

Took a long walk today down La Gran Via and sampled some of the delights Madrid has to offer. Its fairly traffic heavy. Strike that. Its VERY traffic heavy with every avenue and alleyway crammed with cars vans and mopeds. All of the vehicles show the bumps and scrapes of what its like to live here.

It reminds me a lot of new york but with an actual soul. It has the spirit of Paris without the endless tourist traps and the friendlyness i felt in Berlin.

I feel welcome here, which is not something im used to feeling as a tourista!

airpueto

Madrid airport is a modern art sculpture put to industrial use. The huge space, with wooden rafters and angled skylights puts you in mind of a contempory cathedral. This temple to travel hosts more worshipers per day than madrids innumerable churches will host in a week. Verfent prayers to the God of lost bagage and Saint Christopher are audible from dawn till dusk.

They were still building the metro station that we were meant to take so a quick taxi ride throu rush hour gave us a glance at madrid from the asphalt.

It reminds me a lot of Paris but without the glaring tourist honey traps. The tapas are lovely and possibly the best invention since sliced bread. In fact they were orignally meant to be slices of bread to put over your drink to keep the flies off. Now its a stunning varity of hot and cold dishes all served to share.
Hotel is clean and ok, no AC thou but its fairly mild so not a problem so far.
There are hundreds of bars and resturants within walking distance and we managed 3 last night. More tonight no doubt!

Tuesday, 10 April 2007

Traveling isnt the bad part i actually enjoy seeing different cultures, trying new languages and enjoying strange terrifying foods. Its the waiting to travel that hurts. Every airport looks the same. Once you've sampled one awfull coffee you've had to remorgage the house for, you've tried them all.
My dream is to start a brand new airline. SOMNA-AIR. Upon check in our trained medical staff gently and competantly knock you the fuck out. On arrival you are carefully revived and fully refreshed you can start your day.

It cuts out all the pointless waiting around and endless visits to tie rack.

Yes i am still waiting for the frelling plane.

airport depression

Is there anything more depressing than waiting in an airport? They're places to pass throu not live in. Soulless dead eyed staff gape vacantly at you their personality eroded by too long staring into the abyss of terminal threes' departure lounge.
On our way to madrid where i'll update you from next.

Sunday, 8 April 2007

Easter weekend.


Easter weekend rocks! In the cool meaning of the word of course. Not only do you get a four day weekend but you get chocolate eggs and bunnies!

Took a long walk on Friday with a few friends down the coast from Rhyl to Prestatyn where we rewarded our exertions with a nice cold pint of ale. And another to speed us back up the coast. It was bright and sunny and good preparation for our trip to Madrid next week. It's so nice having four days off AND THEN going on holiday.

Saturday was a bit of a slower day where we just chilled and then went to the pub with some old school friends. Its great seeing the people you grew up with, having actually become the people they always had the promise to be.

Apart from that its ben fairly dull recently, done a bit of writing but nothing I'm going to share here for a little while at least!

more later.

New Nine Inch Nails album


LISTEN FOR FREE

If there's just not enough scary industrial noise, underpinned by some of the sweetest harmonies you'll find this side of a Motown complication in your life.

It's this dicotomy of sound that keeps me coming back to Mr Reznors band although the best album was certainly the downwards spiral. Uplifting title non?

Friday, 6 April 2007

Thursday, 5 April 2007

If power corrupts...


So first we get talking CCTV cameras, then we get lie detectors for Benefit scroungers. All this after text messages to immigrants to let them know their visas were about to expire.

Is it just me, or has Tony Blair's government just gone batshit loco?

They jump on the nearest sound bite however knackered and tired it is, and ride that burro till it dies on it's ass. But don't worry, they'll be another half-baked, crackpot idea along in a minute.

This isn't policy making. This is pandering to plebeian tastes and interests. Creating a feeling that 'Things are being done' whilst actually achieving bugger all.

I am not someone who naturally feels our rights are being eroded. I understand the need for speed cameras and warning labels but this is just stupid.

If someone is scamming the benefits system then there have to be more effective ways to catch them but think of the reverse situation.

You rely on benefits to actually survive the scummy life that fate's dealt you.

You've never even returned a library book late and every other week you're forced to go through Herr Voltniemers probes and prods asking you awkward questions about your mother and if you did five hours casual labour last week just to get the money you need to live.

How about peine forte et dure to get people to admit their guilt? It would save millions in wasted legal fees. How about the Judas chair for those caught feeding their kids saturated fats?

What about the Iron Maiden for anyone convicted of three or more Asbos? That would sort the fuckers out.



To quote Bill Hicks I'd think about emigrating but that would mean I'd be subject to our foreign policy.

Notes from...


I've just started reading Don Quixote and having that fresh in my mind its a bit of a surprise to come back to this story I wrote a few years ago to find Cervantes and I were thinking along the same lines.

I do belive its more important to be out there doing something than waiting around for something to do. Its a lesson that its taken about ten years of independance to sink in but I'm taking full advantage of it now.

My greatest fear is to be stuck doing the same things in ten years just because its more comfortable than opening yourself up to new experiences and the possibility of being hurt.

Anyway if you're interested the Gutenburg Project has the original Don Quixote for your perusal. You don'ts have to read it in the original spanish but the option is there.

However sometimes with Notes from the Road and self made fiction in general, when you read it back months or years later you find yourself physically wincing at bad sentences. If I could remove that final paragraph gentle reader I would, but it has to be an accurate reflection of what I wrote and was seemingly happy with at the time.

However juvenile it may now appear.




Bollocks.

Notes from the Road 6




Chapter 6


"We're on a quest." Bran had said when bad tequila and good grass had loosened his tongue.

"A quest?" Replied Madison rising up on an elbow to see him better across the flames.

We'd driven slightly off the road up to an outcrop which was wide enough for the truck, the three of us and a warming fire. There was no traffic of cars on the road or clouds in the sky giving us an unrivalled view of the heavenly bodies picked out like pin pricks in the thick blackout sheet of night.

We lay out on roll mats marking a rough triangle around the blaze of dead wood I had used as a cooking fire and which now gave us warmth and light in the darkness. Bran was lying on his back looking up at the stars as if he were speaking to it and not us.

"Yeah like, the Knights of old, travelling the land doing good deeds." He continued wetting his lips like they were thick with treacle.

"They were always questing for something," She said "The Green knight or the Holy Grail..."

"Pah! They quested for the sake of questing! The Grail never really existed. It was just an excuse for them to get out there and..." he waved his hand around ineffectually "..do stuff. The quest is the important thing not the prize at the end of it."

"I think I see what you mean." I said. "If they just sat at home doing nothing letting their armour rust they wouldn't have the opportunity to be chivalrous and brave. They'd just worry about the tax increase on mead and how many miles to the bale of hay they got out of their horse."

"Exactly! Unless you put yourself in a position where you have to choose to do the right thing how do you really know what you would do in that situation. What you're really like. Deep down."

He took a very deep hit off the reefer and continued.

"So they made up stuff to quest for, reasons to be on the road, doing good."

Madison accepted the smouldering paper package from him and put it to her lips. "So what's your made up quest? What mythical item are you searching for? Gabriel's wings? Custer's Cutlass?"

Bran rolled over and looked at me. I shifted as the ground beneath me became suddenly uncomfortable.

"What?" She said.

"What we're looking for isn't an object." I said.

"A Person then."

"Not a person." replied Bran letting his head loll back against his bedroll.

"Then what?"

"Meaning." I said quietly.

"Meaning to what?"

"Everything and nothing. The reason for all." Said Bran almost on the verge of sleep.

There was a pause longer than the grand canyon. The quiet sound of the fire was fully accompanied by the wildlife symphony orchestra highlighting the gap in conversation.

Madison rolled onto her back "Bit of a wanky explanation for a road trip if you ask me."

Our shared laughter roared into the night, binding us together as companions, true friends.

Wednesday, 4 April 2007

Bad-temper-minton


Football last night and badminton the night before. I've been busy busy busy.

Monday was the end of season tournament at badminton which was great fun for some. but not seemingly for others.

Let me explain.

The end of season tournament is meant to be a bit of fun without the innate silliness of the Christmas tournament in which fancy dress and playing wrong handed are considered par for the course.

In this tourney there's a trophy and everything. You are randomly matched with a partner and assigned a handicap based on your combined abilities. So if you get two good players together they have a minus handicap and if you get two bad players together they have a plus handicap.

Badminton is all about who can get to fifteen points the fastest. So If you start on plus five you only need ten points to win. However if you start on minus eight you need a whole twenty three points to claim victory!

I got drawn with a partner of similar abilities whom I would consider probably my equal on court. We had a couple of good games ended up winning one and losing four in total. The games we lost we scored quite a few points so we ended up coming fourth in our group of six which I reckon was actually quite good. Espically considering this is my first year of being in competition play.

However this, to my partner was just the worst thing that had ever happened to him.

Bad losers and bad winners just piss me off at some deep fundamental level.

If you win great! but don't rub your opponents nose it in. If you lose accept it with grace and dignity DON'T storm off court. DON'T make yourself even more of a cock. DON'T not go to the pub afterwards because 'We've got nothing to celebrate.'

The problem is he's quite a good guy but this bad sportsmanship really ruins his otherwise quite nice personality.

Or maybe I just don't care about losing that much.

Meh.

Sunday, 1 April 2007

Camp-age : The Return



Back now, smelling slightly of smoke and ever so faintly of good whisky.

Its funny how weekend when you stay in the time seems to just fly and they're gone before you know it. Other weekends when you go and do stuff seem like they last forever!

Up early on Sat and did a couple of hours on my coursework, then loaded up the car and headed out to Llyn Gwynant which is a small lake just by the end of the Snowdonian range.

When ever I go to the mountains. I take the coast road for one reason. As soon as I pass Conwy you hit the mountains of Penmaenmawr which jut out over the road, looking like they'll spill down into the sea. As soon as I see those mountains my whole body relaxes. All this tension I carry around like luggage just eases and my soul soars.

Sorry. Its true though, I see those mountains and I'm home.

Anyways we wound our way along the coast to Caernarvon and then took a sharp left up towards Beddgelert. One of my favourite things about driving in Snowdonia this time of year that you can drive for miles without even seeing another car. Its like those adverts where they show all this beautiful open curving road streching out invitingly ahead. Driving up there is an absolute pleasure, even in a 12 year old car!

We hit the campsite and then walked up to the Pen-y-Gwryd Hotel where they serve probably the finest pint of best bitter in the northern hemisphere. It could the hours walk uphill from the campsite that make me say that, all I know is beer never tases as good anywhere else in the world. Maybe the Time square brewery in New York or the Hobgoblin in Reading might come close but its the Pen-y-Gwryd for me everytime.

Then a leisurely stroll back to the car for some supper and a tot of good whisky or two by the fire before bed.

My idea of heaven.

Back to work tomorrow and I've had such a good weekend I don't care. And isn't that the idea of a short break?

  BELFAST 22/03/2024-25/03/2024 Another trip to the Emerald Isle, this time with the express purpose of visiting the Titanic Museum located ...